Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I let my son take my car out for a spin, since he just got his licence. He didn't make it out of our street before totaling it. FML
Today, I let my son drive us home. After just 10 feet, he crashed into a parked cop car. It was my squad car. FML
Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. I accidentally reversed while still in the driveway, and I instinctively hit the brakes. In my panic, I accidentally let go of the brakes, and ended up reversing straight into our house, all while my father yelled "NOOOOOO!" FML
Alexa, play "Your Daddy's Car" by The Divine Comedy
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
Today, while in the car with my mom, she gave me a lecture about how bad of a driver I am. During that process she ran a red light and hit a car. FML
Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML
Today, I was walking my son to school. After yelling at him for not looking where he's walking, I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to me. Not paying attention, I walked him right into a light pole. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son was waiting in the car for me after driving around to build up hours for his permit. He then decided it was a good idea to quickly drive over to catch a Pokemon nearby. He didn't count on getting pulled over for texting and driving while underage without an adult though. FML
Today, I was riding in the backseat while my mom was driving. Noticing she was driving way over the speed limit, I opened a police siren app on my iPod to make her slow down. When she realized, she pulled over, kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. FML
Today, I took my driving test. As I was about to turn at a green light, a car sped toward us from the other direction, running a red light. My instructor failed me because I stopped to avoid getting rammed. Apparently I should have kept going, because it was my right of way. FML
Top comments
alexhaz64 4
Well looks like he won't be allowed to take the car anymore!
gracehi 33
If he was smart, he didn't go home.
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Comments (163)
peachyFML 17
And how old is he?
blcksocks 19
He is 60. I thought it was pretty obvious in the FML.
Futacy 30
Probably a teenager, considering he's just now learning to drive.
jesustitts 20
Probably 15 but I didn't learn to drive or get a learner a until I was 17, and a license at 18 so could be anywhere from 15 to even 20 or so. It depends on the parents. My fiancé didn't get his license until he was 18 either. And honestly it's better to wait until 18 unless the kid gets a job because there are stupid 16 year olds out there who can't drive. Putting on makeup, texting, speeding, or just all around not paying attention. Same with people 17-70. I've seen it all.
twinny_sc 13
61-Then why is it better to wait until age 18 if you've seen reckless drivers of all ages?
skroal 7
Because 61 has seen it all
Pyapi 20
61 - Not all countries have the legal driving age of 16. In Argentina, you have to be 18 or older to get a license.
tne201992 12
61- I've seen the same shit, but I haven't seen it all.
TheZee 12
Guys, come on. 61 didn't say anything bad about 71+ people, she has just seen it all in the ages 16-70. Lets all get our license at the age of 71 to make her happy :D, who needs to drive before the age of 71 anyways...?
Dusty_Busters 15
I heard you had to be 7 1/2
peachyFML 17
You people realize that was sarcasm, right? I know it was stupid, but it was the first thing that popped in my head.
Llama_Face89 34
153- clearly you don't grasp the meaning of sarcasm.
gc327072 31
Well how the hell did he make it home without killing himself?
alexhaz64 4
Well looks like he won't be allowed to take the car anymore!
BloodandIce 11
If they ever get the car back.
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
Thumb down all you want... But at a time like this, I would beat the shit out of him and not let him drive again. People complain that "Hitting children is bad and should never be done", but a little discipline here and there would put him in his place.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#47- You're right. Beating and abuse isn't good, but discipline definitely works. Sucks that so many parents are soft with their kids these days; doesn't teach them anything.
ElectricEffect 13
Yes, because physical abuse solves everything...
Hiimhaileypotter 53
52- I said that abuse isn't good. In this case, probably not allowing him to drive till he's 18 as well as grounding him for a long time would probably do the trick. But why shouldn't parents be allowed to spank their children as discipline?
LollipopDragon 4
Hey, he can't drive with broken feet. I mean.. Child abuse is bad!
ballpython 15
#52 - I have seen the parents who respond with "No no sweetie, don't do that or you can't have ice cream and cake for dinner like you wanted" and the kids are unruly and nasty to their parents. Although I am an atheist I have to say that Spare the rod and spoil the child should be practiced regularly.
ElectricEffect 13
54 - I was referring to 47, who said they would physically beat the shit out of their child. Which is illegal I might add. And nobody has the right to lay their hands on anyone. As you stated, there are other forms of punishment that can be much more effective.
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
#52, It isn't "Abuse". Abuse would be OP coming home every night and beating his child because he didn't have a good day at work. "Discipline" is when OP's ******** of a son runs a red light, which is dangerous not just for OP but his son as well, AND THEN locks OP out of HIS OWN CAR and drives off. That kind of behavior is intolerable. It shows the son has clearly no respect for OP, not just respect, but FEAR. Everyone to some point must "Fear" their father. "The Father" should be the the pillar that holds the house' structure together. The son should know that angering the father would lead to dire consequences.
JerryH 9
No, but that would be assault and OP could spend a nice amount of time in jail and a pretty little fine. Ive been assaulted by my moms boyfriend, i didnt do anything to force the terms, he just attacked me and broke my nose. If i would have pressed charges hed be in jail for a while and would have had to pay a finez
Vimy 6
OP's son was not only a danger to himself and to OP, but to all others as well! I mean, how can I ever go out now when I know there's a maniac out there?!
CallMeMcFeelii 14
OP has the right to kick his kids ass. Who the hell wouldn't? Not literally beat him up but as others said before he needs to be disciplined. A few good smacks on his ass with a nice solid paddle would be suffice. Paddling is not child abuse, when I was young I'd get paddled if I did something wrong, and it taught me not to do it ever again. Corporal punishment is not child abuse.
Sir_Swaggington 6
The difference is that you didn't do anything and that wasn't your father, just your mothers boyfriend. OP's son needs his ass beaten. He probably got 5 minute timeouts as a kid and idle threats as a teen, which is why he has absolutely no respect for OP.
b_rad_fml 4
52/58 In this case a severe beating is warranted because if the boy got into an accident and hurt or killed someone it
Govester 4
#60 My dad was/is a useless alcoholic I feared him till I got big enough to put him down. Now my momma has my respect and my fear. I was always more afraid of her being disappointed in me and the choices I made then I ever was from her giving me the belt. But the belt definitely works for teaching a quick lesson in being more sneaky so you don't get caught for the stupid shit all kids do.
b_rad_fml 4
52/58 In this case a severe beating is seriously warranted because if the boy got into an accident and hurt or killed someone then the PARENTS would be wholly liable for any claims, no matter that the boy drove off on his own. If my offspring put me in that position, I would knock him into next week
b_rad_fml 4
63, sorry about your situation. You should've pressed charges against mom's bf! He's not family, barely has claim to raise voice against you, but OP has every right as parent to exact the severest discipline, and as long as he doesn't break bones or brains.
Warden1986 16
Jesus Christ, people do all need a Kit-Kat bar and take a break? You know, "give me a break of that Kit-Kat bar"
delevish 3
I think you meant to say, "Break me off a piece of that Kit-Kat Bar."
BrimfullOfAsher 20
Don't make your son walk everywhere - ground him.
copo37 7
Reminds me of the movie Role Models.
gracehi 33
If he was smart, he didn't go home.
hama806 19
...and he had a bag packed.
cglcraig 1
Agreed!
astoryofroses 9
Report the car as stolen
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Or report the son as a little ********.
gracehi 33
"City Police. How may we help you?" "My son is a dick head!" "Uuuuuh..."
gc327072 31
How the hell did he get home without crashing?!
xXxIracebethxXx 14
Who says he went home...? ;)
Rowdey 10
Why did you put a winky? Where are you implying he went, a brothel?
gracehi 33
A girl's house? A strip club? A BROTHEL????
metalwolf 17
Maybe the first lessons the kid was given were "stay between the lines, right is gas, left is brake, and don't hit other cars or people"
bizarre_ftw 22
120 - Assuming the next lessons were "stop at red lights, stop signs, pull over when ambulances come, don't try to pass on curvy roads, etc...." and seeing how he did with at least one of those then it shouldn't matter if he was "taught" the first lessons, because apparently he doesnt learn shit when his mum teaches him things Op should a) call a cab and go home b) report the car stolen to the police and the insurance company c) remove all electronics, toys, games, etc... From the kid's room d) cancel his phone plan and buy him a shit phone that only calls, and make him pay for it e) see if it's possible and, if so, revoke the permit f) pour herself a glass of wine, cut a slice of cake, sit down infront of the tv with a notepad and pen and scan the news for police car chases while making a list of what she plans to do with her new-found money now that she isn't paying for an expensive phone plan, allowance, christmas presents, school trips, or any ******* thing else for that shit-brained dumbass Oh, and when the police call to inform her her son is in jail, she should mention the glass of wine and say she'll pick him up in the morning, then enjoy time with her husband/bf/vibrator What kind of ****** thinks he can get away with this, either he grows a brain or we'll be watching him on "America's dumbest criminals" quite soon
Llama_Face89 34
139- well said! If I could thumb you up on this app I would..but your post is too big...
Welshite 40
Revoke his driving privileges. He must learn there are consequences to his actions.
unlcuky 5
You should've made him get out first, then grab the keys, walk over and start the car...
TourettesGuyFTW 26
You should do a degree in hindsight- you're good good at it.
BlowinChronic 18
I'm really not totally sure how OP could have seen this coming though, so I would not have really expected anything different from OP.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
If you have told them to swap places and let you drive and they didn't start moving as soon as they parked the car, expect them to do something stupid like lock you out. Never get out of the car first when a teenager is throwing a tantrum.
Pleonasm 36
Damn kids, driving you crazy. They never give you a break do they?
gc327072 31
A brake, you mean?
Pleonasm 36
Yea, I forgot to turn it into a pun; I'm getting wheely tyred that's why. I'm exhaust-ed, actually!
gc327072 31
There's the Pleonasm I know! Atta' boy!
stitesy29 18
I see what you did tarr!