Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house at 9am to surprise him on our 1 year anniversary. In the process, I gatecrashed another celebration he was having with his second girlfriend. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend secretly using my hair straightener while I was in the other room. Too embarrassed to talk to him about it, I left and came back later, only to discover him slipping on a pair of my panties. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML
Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML
Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML
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Top comments
beautiful_mayhem 0
Oh to be a fly on the wall when the shit hit the fan! That sucks for you and I'd get myself tested now to be sure he wasn't giving you any "presents" from the other woman!
mehwhateverr 0
yes, because she's supposed to be a psychic and know he's a cheater, dammit! sarcasm alert. and you're an idiot.
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Comments (199)
d_a_i_s_e_e 0
Geeeez what an asshole, your boyfriend i mean are you still with him??
Stupidpoorpeople 0
Yeah, you definitely need a boyfriend if you typed "I snuck into his bed with sleep with," because with your intelligence your not going to get a real job. FYL.
uj_fml 4
it was a typo im sure
b18ch1ck 0
lol @ your use of "your"
jollyjam1 2
If YOU'RE going to comment one someone stupidity, it is best to not be stupid YOUR self. Do you get it?
akvandervort 21
And the stupid people just keep coming. I do believe that you meant to say... "If YOU'RE going to comment on someone's stupidity, it's best not to be stupid YOURself. Do you get it?." Do you get it?
OctavariumVI 0
Still wrong. It's supposed to be "And the stupid people just keep coming. I do believe that you meant to say... "If YOU'RE going to comment on someone's stupidity, it's best not to be stupid YOURself. Do you get it?" Do you get it?" Do you get it?
GLiTTeRz 0
you never begin a sentence with and. gosh grammar Nazis these days.
fxdxhk90 0
Giggiggty giggity!
Tobe_fml 0
Hoooootttttt~
redbluegreen 41
I always wonder... Do a vast majority of people go to the bathroom [often] in the middle of the night? This sounds like something right out of a movie, since someone's always conveniently in the bathroom while the other person sneaks into their bed. Not saying it's fake, I'm just genuinely curious. Hopefully he's your ex now.
fudrick 0
@#18 ou can't take situations from FML's and say "This doesn't happen most of the time, it's fake." This is a site entirely made up of rare occurrences.
redbluegreen 41
I didn't say it was fake? I'm asking if I'm missing out on something obvious, since movies is the ONLY place I've seen similar things like this happen. It has to be based off some reality?
always_his 2
@#23 "Not saying it's fake" If you are going to take what someone has said, and try to make them look like an idiot you might want to actually READ what they typed. You know..left to right, down and repeat? If not, you just end up looking like an illiterate ass.
fudrick 0
Uh, when people say stuff like "Not saying it's fake" that gives off the impression of "I'm not entirely convinced that this is fake, but I think it is." To me, at least. Something like "I'm not trying to accuse it of being fake in any way, but" would be much more suitable for this situation, considering the fact that the statement was preceded by what seemed to be a vague accusation that this could only happen in a movie. Or maybe I just read it wrong the first time, and now that connotation is stuck in my mind. And #29, before you attempt to insult someone with an adjective such as illiterate, I'd suggest you learn what the word means.
wafflemonger 0
Redbluegreen, when I used to drink a lot more water than I do now, I would wake up at least once per night to use the bathroom. Depends on a person's liquid consumption and bladder control, but the short answer to your question is yes.
NewLight8421 0
no you probably just moderated it
SimpleSimon 0
No, I mean this same situation.
fretforyerlatte 0
lots of people wake up in the night needing to pee. happens to me all the time. but also, OP doesn't say that it was the middle of the night. could be early morning. EVERYBODY has to pee in the morning.
littlexlion 4
I don't know about vast majority, but at least 3 times a week I get out of bed in the wee hours to go to the bathroom.
Intoxicunt 6
Hahaha, #78.
sofad15 0
78, I was just thinking the same ))) haha
GLiTTeRz 0
okay bud. illiterate means you cannot read. that is basically what he said and meant. please don't try to be a English teacher and correct everyone for their vocabulary. it makes you look like a ILLITERATE person yourself.
usernameO_o 0
aww that really sucks. idk what i'd do if that happened to me
Nixx_has_2_xs 0
three way :]
Forever2204 0
dump him! FYL
Zurr 0
Dump his ass, and just ignore all the pigs here yelling "threesome lol!"
mzbabygurl97 0
i hope you dumped his ass. no need to kill the girlfriend she probably didnt know, but if you want to get a rush out of it.... follow #9 lol