Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while on break from work, I went to the cafeteria and bought cheese cubes. One of my coworkers, who is usually very pleasant, asked to try some and I said yes. She ate all the cheddar cubes in the bowl, which are the only ones I like. I wasted $3 for someone else to eat my food. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, while working, a woman complained that she didn't ask for sauce on her sandwich. After examining the sandwich, I realized it was just melted cheese. When I told her, she threw the sandwich at me. FML
Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML
Today, my family had an argument with me because I bought the wrong kind of cheese. They never said what kind they wanted. The argument ended with my mother saying that she wished she could kill herself, because of how horrible of a person I am. FML
Today, my cousin came by to visit, and we went out to a pizza restaurant for dinner. She’s a very picky eater, so much so that she takes the cheese off the pizza, despite me politely asking her not to. One of the chefs walks by, sees it, and yells, “What have you done to my beautiful pizza!?” at us. FML
Today, I went to work. All day, all I wanted to eat was my favorite cheese, which was waiting for me at home. I came home and someone had eaten it, then put the empty wrapper back in the fridge. FML
Today, while at the local supermarket, I spotted an attractive woman packing food into a shelf. Trying to be flirty, I asked where I could find the cream cheese. Apparently, it was on the shelf right behind me. I heard her mutter "idiot" under her breath. FML
Today, a customer complained that her salad had "too much lettuce." Her bowl was less than half-filled with lettuce and the rest was cheese. FML
Today, at work, a woman came up to the snack bar and ordered a pretzel with no salt. When I served her the food, she angrily complained about it having no salt, followed by her throwing the whole thing in my face. FML
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Top comments
krushr 3
I can't believe how selfish you are. Didn't your mother teach you to ALWAYS have an assortment of cheeses on hand for such occasions? Sheesh.
AnonymousTroll 2
I can make a cheesy one liner about this, but I'd rather not...
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Comments (200)
mrlopez 13
Cheezus khrist. Does she need to shout like that?
J3R3MYY 14
That was bad..
EnEl_Infierno 15
Hey give 1 a break, I'm sure it ain't easy being chessy.
mexicanguy39 7
Chessy??
gummieeees 0
^^^ grammar Nazi :b
mexicanguy39 7
Well, do you like chesse???
gummieeees 0
What's chesse?
mexicanguy39 7
Its this thing.. Its super chessy!!
dcg1375 7
Ungrateful bitch. Tell her to take her ass to the store.
Melvar_10 3
Tell her to go f**k herself and she isn't welcome in you abode. Tell her to go back to her cheesy ass place
mexicanguy39 7
Don't you mean "chessy"??
leadman1989 16
I would have given her ass plenty of cheese DICK cheese!
EnEl_Infierno 15
Ok mexicanguy39, I think you made your point in your last four replies, I had just gotten of work and rushed it a bit, so I messed up by one letter. Big ****** Woop that you caught that, here's your medal. *Starts Slow Clap*
J3R3MYY 14
Hey 78, are u the guy who works the graveyard shift and tried to pepper spray their boss through a window because they were wearing a scream mask?
ZeroIce 12
1- SlyFoxHound FTW :D
mexicanguy39 7
78, callate la pinche voca.. And you had gotten "of" work? Don't you mean off? Whats your excuse this time? Your ass still doing the slow clap so you are typing with your feet??
J3R3MYY 14
^^ damn its Hitler himself.
EnEl_Infierno 15
93 You mad bro? And again buey, I'm OFF by one letter. Oooh are you melting, ahh **** the poor the grammar nazi non-existent life, sorrrry if I don't reply right away I'm not on fml 24/7. I'd do have a life and btw I like to see how punk ass writes after being awake for more than 20 hrs.
Averyoto 2
97- The "I'd" and the "I" in the last sentence should be switched... ;P
EnEl_Infierno 15
Dam it I missed *your, did your head explode mexican guy?
EnEl_Infierno 15
98 lol, another would be gammar nazi, smh.
leztg 0
*93 the number 1 was making a south park reference chill out.
Averyoto 2
You comments have so many grammar mistakes I can't even understand them. Did you drop out of elementary school or something?
leztg 0
Apparently so do you. Don't you mean *your?
leztg 0
I meant to say *93 the first comment was a south park reference. Does this make everyone happy now? Good gosh.
Averyoto 2
Haha good eye 105. I feel like I've made that mistake before :/
leztg 0
It's okay it happens to everybody. It's the Internet. People make mistakes. I'm do I know that for sure.
cupcakeluver1212 0
That was halarious!
TuLegit 4
Funny as hell mate!
bclancy14 0
Gouda one
cda2090 6
I would of said get ur own cheese assortment
theaws0m3guy 4
WTF moment...I can imagine this scene as a Japanese cheese commercial.
farhil 14
That bleu my mind
cheefer 0
At least she didn't Swiss the channels in your tv!
EnEl_Infierno 15
The ***!!! Where are all the the original replies that were here? Man this thread is truly pathetic in comparison.
madaoxsan 9
No, 14, your sense of humor is just moldy.
gpoquiqui 5
This FML made me laugh :)
sydie5 12
Neighbors.. gotta love em.
m0tl3ycru3 0
Even if they're ungratefull
leogirl95 12
Why are neighbors always so freakin crazy?
qazaq 1
Ydi for letting her in your house
Blissfull_Sin 7
Tell her to take her cheap ass to the store n get her own
greenishyellow 5
just like Cheezus said.
AnonymousTroll 2
I can make a cheesy one liner about this, but I'd rather not...
allard 14
You're doing well today.
Googoo27 12
Can someone tell me if my comment (#5) is still there? I cant see it.
kingnate16 0
Why does OPs neighbor think she's allowed out of the kitchen?
MagicallyFat 12
My good sir, your on a roll… like cheese. I 'll just stop and leave all the jokes to you.
nicknamekenny 1
F*ck ya
nicknamekenny 1
F*ck ya
SystemofaBlink41 27
I guess cheese really mad
krushr 3
I can't believe how selfish you are. Didn't your mother teach you to ALWAYS have an assortment of cheeses on hand for such occasions? Sheesh.
morgan320 0
The last word, I see what you did there.
morgan320 0
The last word, I see what you did there.
pimpcakes2 11
Brie is a staple in every household; or at least colby jack! Don't you know that?? Or the gouda one!
Googoo27 12
Insert Cheesey Joke Here
lazy_ella 7
What a crazy ass, do not let her in your house again.
vannaxo 0
Agreed.
twilight_lupus 13
I don't think the OP let her in. The OP probably made her wait outside while they got the cheese. Other then that if you see her again asking for something don't open the door.
twilight_lupus 13
*wait outside Stupid edit didn't work Edit: never mind my phone was being stupid.
Honda288 2
Well by definition he didn't "let" her in to begin with. She just walked through the door.
Ann23 7
Remind her that she's in a house, not her own personal grocery store.
Bullpine 11
I have a feeling you weren't into seinfeld
roswelluga 4
that's not gouda!
Steve95401 49
This is a Gouda FML. The neighbor sounds like a real Muenster and I'm sure she was Bleu about the lack of cheese.
Isoldael 27
That doesn't make sense if you know how to pronounce Gouda :p. Nice try though
Steve95401 49
I know that it's supposed to be pronounced "Howda", but it was too good to pass up.
tweetypie 18
Too GOUDa to pass up ;)
SystemofaBlink41 27
It sounds as if Arnold Gsottschneider was saying it
mattorama 15
That's not a very gouda situation. You have to brie calm about these things. Why'd 'chedder in the door in the first place if she's a total munster?
tanner10_6 3
Booooooooooooo!!
cheefer 0
Y you no love me long time
ImFrackinBored 13
*throws tomatoes*
letmeloveyou 0
I give you props for trying.