Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've been crushing on for a while. At one point we started talking about pets we'd had. I wanted to show my sensitive side, so I told her how I sadly had to get my beloved cat euthanized earlier that week, and had buried her in my backyard. Her response? "Ew." FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents, and now they have a dead rabbit because I sat on it. FML
Today, a guy I've been seeing called me really drunk again to talk about his and his cat's angst. He put me on speaker so I could have a meowing-conversation with his cat to soothe her. FML
Today, I finally met the cute guy I've been seeing around town. Bad news is, I was drunk off my ass, and when he told me his name, I burst out laughing because it's the same as my puppy's. He did not take it well. FML
Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML
Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML
Today, I went to this coffee shop in town that has a fire pit outdoors with my boyfriend. I threw out the idea of sitting by the fire together, and he responded by telling me that his father and dog died in a house fire when he was young. FML
Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML
Today, while I was on a date, I noticed my ex-boyfriend in the restaurant, and he looked sad. So I walked over to see him and jokingly said, "You look like your mom died or something!" She had. FML
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Top comments
GloriousWhorious 6
Just think about it! :D Maybe one day, he'll love you as much as the ferret! Then he can show YOUR ashes to others!
hatesfate 6
it looked like pudding... WTF do you think ashes look like?
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Comments (79)
sarahbella101 7
ferret ashes? what do they look like?
FallCityFall 0
cocaine is a hell of a drug
ImThePope 2
I'm positive ashes are ashes... but anyways OP, you got him drunk, what do you expect? Sex? Pssh... that's so over rated.
hatesfate 6
it looked like pudding... WTF do you think ashes look like?
GuessWhatKids 13
Why, ferret ashes look like giant lollipops in the sunny fields of Happyville! If you're on shrooms they do, anyways.
MizzErikaHart 8
what was he doing in the kitchen??
ImJustNotBlack 0
bitches ain't shit but hos and tricks
imacreeper 3
56 you really aren't black so please just stop.
futtbuck101 1
Is the post below somehow related to this one?
YacL 15
No ^
Insane_Tea 15
56 Its a fictional qoute from Ghandi. You stereotyping piece of crap.
seenyou 3
1: even in the previous FML you posted up a stupid question . please think before you type
Carpy 8
sarahBELLA, do yourself a favor & stop posting comments. You've already proven to everyone on FML that you are a complete retard that can't seem to read very well. We all get a little dumber just from reading your comments.
alaskasfml 0
anything that burns will look the same in the end! like stated, ashes are ashes. i can't believe some of the things people say. it makes me wonder if they act like idiots just to make people react.
Noob30 0
It's called trolling, 119. But it think Sarah is just stupid.
juicedboi 7
Least u remind him of something he clearly loved. Then again you could just look like a ferret..
alaskasfml 0
123- i'm not an idiot, i know what it's called. i just don't use retarded computer talk, noob30.
JJ123456 0
brake up with him if he thinks you a ferret
sarahbella101 7
Lol totally!!
qwert1994 0
That would suck to look like a ferret. Just saying.
sarahbella101 7
But dont insult ferrets like that!
GuessWhatKids 13
Brake up with him? As in, hit the brakes on a car upwards, with him? I hardly think that'll solve the problem.
Eggers 2
op- the dude was drunk, relax. And have you ever had a pet ferret before? I highly doubt it judging by your highly cynical and non-understanding attitude
Blazingcrono 6
Who wants a ferret anyways? I'd rather get a dog. Maybe then, when I show my date his ashes, she'll sympathize with me.
ugliness 6
ferrets are awesome, they're cute like rats but you can trust them on a lead :3 if I didn't already have a puppy I would get one
MissBrainDamage 0
Maybe you smell like a ferret OP... It's time for a shower?
zozohearts 0
My turtle died today :(
OCDC 9
My favorite brain cells died today from reading this conversation.
Paradoxasaurus 0
This is possibly the worst advice to give. First of all, he was drunk, which meant this probably wouldn't have happened if he weren't. Secondly, obviously his pet meant a lot to him. I can guarantee he didn't mean she looked like a ferret. He probably just thought she had the nice qualities the ferret had (she's cute, nice, cuddly, etc.). Lastly, this guy sounds frickin' adorable. He showed you the ashes of a dead pet that obviously meant a hell of a lot to him. Being a heartless confidant and telling thousands of people what happened was not a classy move.
JakeLee 6
am I the only one who noticed that it doesn't say anything about them being in a relationship. just says she went to a guys house...
funnyFMLSplz 0
am I the only one that notices it doesnt say it's a girl or a boy? and he/she is not in a relationship? oh wait someone already said that
dreamering 16
I bet he was beating the ferret in the bathroom
crunchycereal 0
I bet he was beating something else ;)
teh1337 1
*facepalm* just leave this guy alone
TheMonica 0
Wow, 44, sarcasm isn't your stongsuit..
dreamering 16
44- For real? Shit, and I was expecting the ferret to die after all that beating.
dbss11 3
lol wasn't their an fml where somebody was spanking his ferret??
dreamering 16
That's right 90, that's right. That's why ferret died and the dude is crying. 44- is trying to confuse me.
jennifer93 0
wow that's messed up...but hey at least you know it wasn't the ferret that he served for dinner...
theten_fml 9
you're right, the ashes went in the milkshake for dessert.
Blazingcrono 6
Morning coffee is probably the safest bet.
DrJesse 10
nah,havent yall seen south park? ashes go into chocolate milk mix.
Fatalix_fml 0
if you've seen due date, it goes in coffee..
YacL 15
Wait... what? What do you and a parrot's ashes have in common?
ArcticDead 12
fail
silver0jay 11
Umm... I think you meant the Ferrets ashes.
hatesfate 6
less emo pics. more paying attention IMO
YacL 15
So I misread the FML, sue me. Ferret... parrot... whatever. And just because my pic is black and white doesn't make it emo.
silver0jay 11
Nah- it's just the black and white sleeves covering your scars. :b
xxlauruh 0
lololol
YacL 15
This... isn't a picture of me though.
hatesfate 6
no your ugly face with a pity me look makes it emo
YacL 15
At least I have a picture. Anyway, I don't feel like arguing a pointless argument... so yeah... nice talking to you, I guess.
dollars2doughnut 0
I'm sorry, but I cannot tolerate this kind of ignorance. If I am right, I believe YacL's picture is of Light from the manga Death Note... Am I not?
dollars2doughnut 0
Not light... L. Excuse me.
VitaLp 14
I was thinking the same thing, 71. Except I think you might mean L, not Light?
VitaLp 14
Haha, looks like you beat me to it.
YacL 15
Actually, it's of Beyond Birthday. Thanks for noticing... glad to see somebody could tell.
silver0jay 11
...You lost me at Mangas Death note.
YacL 15
It's a manga... a japanese graphic novel written by Tsugumi Ohba and illustrated by Takeshi Obata.
truthinlies 1
36 how the **** do you misread parrot and ferret did you get herpies when you derped that hard
dbss11 3
88 - durp means dumb useless retarded person, so that statement makes absolutely no sense -_-
Soloman212 28
91- how nice of you to give an example.
FlashBurn 13
You guys are almost all dicks. Wait until you see what I'm gonna change my picture to! I just hope it doesn't get reported or anything... I just like stirring up trouble. It's the bubble, bubble, toil part I have a problem with. A picture is not a true representation of the person, just remember that.
truthinlies 1
91 you'd have to be dumb and useless to misread parrot and ferret
extreemguy19 7
Sorry, haters hate, but I think manga sucks.
oops_im_fucked 8
Where the Hell do you see parrot?! God just read for a second!!!! RAAAAAAAHhhhhhhh
GloriousWhorious 6
Just think about it! :D Maybe one day, he'll love you as much as the ferret! Then he can show YOUR ashes to others!
silver0jay 11
Whoaaa.... That's psycho! I hope the Op dined and dashed the hell out of there!
GloriousWhorious 6
Whaaaat? Naw, she can stay after dinner and learn about his new pet rock! X3
NAU_future 7
I used to have a pet rock, man those were the days! I took that guy everywhere.. sadly one day he died, took my heart with him. I did keep his corpse perfectly preserved as a way to keep the memories.
dbss11 3
lol 92 how did your pet rock die? xD
NAU_future 7
Well 93 when I came back from summer camp one year the first thing I wanted to do was tell my pet rock about camp. However my parents told me that while I was away he had "run away" which everyone knows means dead. What made it even worse was I found his little body in our pond, they drowned my best friend! what kind of ****** up people do that? That is how my pet rock died.
nate_msm 0
sorry to hear about your rock man.
fancymega 7
that's gross
Mindtrap 0
agreed. dump that dude, he's gonna have problems
yaneliz1994 16
haha wow crazy
Zombieslayer1 0
Wow, what an honor to be compared to something so special. You've got a winner there.
Zombieslayer1 0
if you liked this plz comment.