Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML
Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML
Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML
Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML
Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML
Today, I got off work early to go home and surprise my girlfriend with lunch, only to come home to her in the middle of packing up all of her stuff. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML
Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
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Top comments
Rommel1942 9
Dude... Too bad this world is filled with bitches like that. Spineless and unfaithful. Only few are good people. Sad. I feel bad for you OP, I really do. :( find someone that deserves you. Or let someone find you.
K_kanaka 26
She couldn't find the guts to just break-up with you face to face. That's sad. Sorry OP hope you find someone better in the future.
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Comments (82)
vcapelo 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Leave her!
LaColombianita 26
I think it's too late for that.. Seems as though she left him first.
diniefofinie 9
Pretty sure she already left him
NokeyPlc 1
If he was on the graveyard shift, why wouldn't she leave then? Why wait until he gets back and goes to sleep?
woosah 16
Well he can't leave her... On account of she left him. However I feel like maybe you're better off without her OP, especially if she didn't even have the guts to tell you to your face.
Wow_FYL_BIZNITCH 7
Maybe she wanted him to get some sleep before she left him because he may not sleep after? Idk.
Rommel1942 9
Dude... Too bad this world is filled with bitches like that. Spineless and unfaithful. Only few are good people. Sad. I feel bad for you OP, I really do. :( find someone that deserves you. Or let someone find you.
MetalxSoldier 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Maybe she tried to sneak away cause he is to clingy. Either way, she doesn't want to be with him so he should just let her go.
gamercanadian 11
Forget her man, there's plenty of fish in the sea, and than there's Japanese women. (not being racist).
IntoTheClouds 42
WHY do you always have to make excuses like, "Maybe she left her because he x, y or z?" You're doing the exact same thing people are doing to Catherine Kieu, saying shit like, "Maybe he deserved to have his penis cut off because he was cheating on her." NO. There is nothing in this FML that says ANYTHING about the OP doing anything wrong, so stop trying to make excuses for the ex-girlfriend, who did something rude, childish and crass.
MetalxSoldier 26
Look here kid, just cause it's not in the fml post doesn't mean the story stops there. So get your head out your ass because there is more than one way to look at things. I also wasn't defending her, I was just putting in a different perspective.
curlygirly1 8
What is OP??
Wow_FYL_BIZNITCH 7
Original poster. Love, Someone on FML who isn't a ********.
bosquez559 15
Lmao xD
anarchistpunk 3
Love that username dude. Hate ******* fascists, but much love for that name.
Nothingson1864 0
I am so sick of hearing people like you generalize women as though they are all the same. I agree that any person who tries to sneak out of a relationship without confronting their issues is a coward, but for you to say that "most" women are "spineless bitches" is INCREDIBLY ignorant and offensive. Stop generalizing. There are approximately 3.5 billion women in the world and I guarantee that you have met only a TINY fraction of them. You merely come across sounding ignorant and prejudiced, when you make comments like you just did.
Nothingson1864 0
*Omnipotent Piñatas
Rommel1942 9
Lol
K_kanaka 26
She couldn't find the guts to just break-up with you face to face. That's sad. Sorry OP hope you find someone better in the future.
girl112891 7
I'd do this sort of thing only at a crazy situation where the guy is psycho obsessive and won't let me leave and I'm scared of him. Otherwise, that's just cold!
AugustBurnsToast 14
How shady! Might as well consider yourself lucky the relationship is over with someone as rude as that.
Rommel1942 9
"Cuz I'm slim shady, yes I'm the real shady all you other slim shadys are just imi-tating, so won't the real slim shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up"
lindora 35
6- I like your hair!
AugustBurnsToast 14
15 takes on an interesting perspective lol and thank you 20 that's really nice of you to say. :)
annah_hay 5
I like your name good sir
galt 13
6- I think I know you. Message me please :)
llamafish 25
I like your face. I mean that in the least creepy way possible, I swear.
AugustBurnsToast 14
Ahaha thanks ya'll for makin my day :D (yes I said ya'll don't arrest me)
tomtato 10
Feel your pain bro. Let it out and move on when you can yea.
Hypertudism 15
Stalk her. Then when she gets really pissed, and on the verge of a restraining order, just randomly, completely stop. Never see her again, and I guarantee at some point in a 3 month-2 year time span, she'll miss you. Even if it is for a bit.
Nthabz 8
Really?? Wow...how's that gonna help him, huh?
Hypertudism 15
People come here to complain, not for advice.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
13 - Vengeance and peace of mind.
kittenvks 11
You know, I'm just gonna say it. Your profile picture matched perfectly with your comment. Better than anyone's I've seen yet.
zandalee 20
Yep. She looks like a mad bag lady!
ladyLALAA 29
No, guys, it's her friend Ellen's rape face!
sparklecherry 4
You look batshit crazy.
wlddog 14
I am confused to how the stalking idea could work. Probably because I'm an idiot. But how does following someone around all the time become endearing? I thought it just freaked people out. Is there a romantic side to it that I just don't get?
TheDrifter 24
Nope, not romantic, but in that moment of weakness and self doubt, when everyone else has rejected her and everything is falling apart, she will think of you, peering in her window, and know someone cares. That's when you crush all her hopes and dreams and exact your long overdue revenge. Muahahaha!!!
llamafish 25
56 - Well if we go by Twilight, then the answer is apparently yes. Frankly I don't get it either.
Mirorbo 27
What in the...okay, if she was doing that, she's probably not worth it. It sounds like you work very hard and she doesn't appreciate it. Sorry you had to wake up to such a sight. Not a good feeling, I imagine, after a long night of work.
jweezy89 4
I hate people who type out fake vulgarity. it's the internet bro, go ahead and curse. or don't. but don't waste your time typing out the lead up to foul language and then skip it. that wastes my time, your time, and makes you look like a pussy.
babydiamond_fml 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
At least she didn't want to see you cry.
Rommel1942 9
That solves nothing. She broke his heart, plain and simple. "she didn't wanna see him cry". That's a bitch of an excuse. Just means again that she's spineless and a bitch.
TrentF13 12
Ugh... Not a whole lot you can do in response, but to try and move on. Those people are out there, and all we can do is hope we found one that won't do something like that. FYL, OP. I have faith in you, though. You'll find someone.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Good riddance, I say. Who needs a weak cowardly bitch like that? And at least she didn't sneak any of YOUR stuff out.
kittenvks 11
Though she doesn't sound like she's beyond doing that! You might wanna check and make sure you still have all your valuables OP
kimg0885 23
At least she didn't go crazy on your ass and kill u in your sleep.or she could have spread nasty things about u like someone else's post. Good riddance