Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
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Top comments
misspulkadot24 17
That is so ******* disgusting. I'm never eating while reading FML again.
HooyoMacaan 7
Oh wow.. That's.. That's just nasty.. I thought folks just pissed in the shower. :/
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Comments (169)
2035 9
Wow. Was it a 'big' surprise?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Sez who?
lambda_fml 40
How about making him give you an Alabama Hot Pot if you're into such things. ;-)
iAlissa 34
With all due respect, if I walked in on my boyfriend taking a crap in the shower, I'd be having a serious conversation with him...
btstig 11
No you would have a drainage problem, and Poo feet. Lmao.
Jonaahhhh 12
Thank you for ruining my day, Lambda and the subsequent Urban Dictionary look up.
verkaderk 9
Screw the Alabama hot pocket. Alaskan pipeline is where it's at :p
AKGirlinSD 20
^I was born and raised in Alaska and I'm positive I don't want to know what that is. OP, bleach that tub before getting in there next time.
N_Jaay 6
Leave, and never return...
slickchrome 11
Wtf was he thinking? There is a perfectly good sink right there!
misspulkadot24 17
That is so ******* disgusting. I'm never eating while reading FML again.
perdix 31
#2, I'm a little surprised that common sense hasn't dictated that FML and dining don't mix. You're not the first one to mention being put off your food by the stories and comments here, and I doubt you'll be the last. You gonna finish that?
lilhellian 27
You probably shouldn't eat and read the comments either at this rate..
SakataGintoki 9
This is why you make other people eat when they read FMLs, I enjoy watching their facial expressions and them throwing their perfectly good food out :c
outoftown 27
Now you're catching on. You can lose weight by not eating at FML.
Chris455 8
I'll still eat while reading FML. :D
misspulkadot24 17
92-was that a fat joke?
greenmen 12
Funniest of all
HowieDoIt 21
He wanted to show he really gave a crap about your relationship.
HaneenDixon 16
Yup, and he was really bent over trying to prove his love..
Instagrants 8
He was straining to think of ways to show her he cared.
btstig 11
Edit. I'm an idiot. That is all.
TrinityisLife 22
Ugh, more crappy puns?
bluntbeak 6
your picture made that comment 10x better
HooyoMacaan 7
Oh wow.. That's.. That's just nasty.. I thought folks just pissed in the shower. :/
Bubbelz 25
You're not the only one... You definitely aren't o_O
sig4life 18
I would agree. No one wants a stopped up shower. Would the plunger even work?
perdix 31
How often do give a surprise only to get a bigger one in return? I can only imagine what will go through your mind the next time he fingers you.
marcranger 29
Who knew a ****** could pucker up bad enough to retreat in on itself?! Thanks for helping me discover new things about my body!
little_one 20
And I thought I had a dirty mind.... I bet perdix even has a sex dungeon...
alan831 9
I don't think anyone would give him the chance to do that afterwards.
TheElBurrrito 21
Assuming there is a next time, Perdix.
karlcolt45 19
oh, when did YOU get in here? I'm uh...learning plumbing
AssTard 15
6- Just no...
MissMess 12
My eyeballs need bleaching after reading that! Poor OP! Why wouldn't he lock the door before ******** in the shower!?
TheDrifter 24
Unless getting "caught" was part of his plan.
doodlecloud 27
Well my bathroom doesn't have a lock on the door...we just know that if the door is open then it's free, if it's closed it's most likely occupied and you should knock before attempting to enter. Maybe OP's house has the same kinda rules?
MuseFan1991 14
why would he shit in the shower at all??
MissMess 12
Haha yeah but still. We tend to follow that rule in our house but I would need the security of a locked door before I did anything freaky in the bathroom!
browneyedgirl52 13
Safe to say you won't be surprising him like that again!
Merylwen 24
So... ex-boyfriend? Before people start throwing rocks at me: that FML is so disgusting I can't really imagine OP being comfortable around the guy anymore. I know I wouldn't. Too awkward to be with someone so gross.
420Zombie 17
op would just have a perma- mental image of her boyfriend squatting in the shower every time she looks or thinks of him at that point
poetrywriter12 6
That's just... Gross. Who actually does that?!
Enslaved 38
He was probably in the shower wondering what anal felt like, got a tad bit curious with his hands and the shampoo then uhh ooh!
julianna5782 12
really, #65? fail.