Today, I seriously considered labelling myself as 'in a relationship' on Facebook, even though I haven't been in one since '92, so I can hide just how desperate I am. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I changed my Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship." The girl is made up and the picture is from Google. FML
Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML
Today, while surfing facebook I noticed someone in my network had recently shifted his relationship status from undeclared to "single." We've been dating exclusively for nine months. FML
Today, someone reckoned that I would never be in a relationship. So I made up this whole story about some made up guy named 'Nick' and posted stuff on my Facebook and Myspace that I'm dating him. Now all my friends want to meet him. FML
Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML
Today, after deactivating my Facebook page 4 days ago for stalking reasons - as in me stalking my ex - I reactivated it for approximately 3 minutes to see what his status update was, then deactivated it again. I'm just THAT pathetic. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to, "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
Today, as I was creeping on social media, I realized that literally everyone I've ever dated is either happily married, engaged, or in a relationship. My last date was at the beginning of the summer. FML
Today, I felt left out by the fact that all my friends are getting married or have great relationships, and my boyfriend won't commit. I made a Facebook up and pretended to talk with this really cute guy I made up. Today, I found out that my boyfriend is gay when he started hitting on my made-up Facebook guy. FML
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Top comments
Serene_fml 0
1992? Holy crap, that's almost as long as my age.
meshell_10 0
Whoa time for eharmony!
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Comments (110)
iluvmybf211 0
You've been single longer than I've been alive.
Lawl97 4
Thats longer than I have been alive!
Jannettecooks 1
I have a friend that met her soul mate on eHarmony after believing she'd never meet someone. It took 3 weeks!!!! They've been together 4 years and are expecting a baby. Don't give up on love.
cactusdesu 15
Having a single status on Facebook doesn't make people think you're desperate.
cheyannemaaarie 12
I'd hate to comment on this saying you're lying, but you are because Facebook was not invented until 1997.
WarriorOmen 25
When I met my SO he hadn't had a relationship since 1973. I was immediately reminded of him upon reading this.
joserack11 4
25 years like what the ****
zoelog 10
its Facebook. nobody cares. ydi
peterblackmer91 12
Really, no one cares.