Today, I watched my husband attempt to make Cup Noodles. He used the Keurig to make hot water, instead of the kettle or microwave, then he burned himself trying to pour it, got angry, and smashed the mug and the noodles. I married this man. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making Cup Noodles for breakfast. After microwaving it for 3 minutes, I carefully grabbed the cup to pour some water out, but my hand gave out and some water spilled on it. Now I have a burned hand and no noodles. FML
Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband that while trying to figure out how to make coffee on our stupid new machine, I was in fact nude, so when I finally got it to work and steam came hissing out of the nozzle, I got first degree burn on my nipple. FML
Today, I was microwaving chicken noodle soup and these ones tend to explode a lot, so I tried so very very hard to watch it carefully. I was able to microwave it fully without it exploding but after I pulled it out of the microwave, I spilled half of it onto the floor. FML
Today, my boyfriend saw a YouTube video of a guy throwing boiling water into the cold air, with the water immediately turning to ice and vapor. He copied it, but only succeeded in dousing himself with boiling water, then making me drive his idiot self to the hospital. FML
Today, I tried to warm soup in a travel mug. I forgot to take the metal spoon out. The microwave lit up like a firework display, and I screamed so loudly that my neighbor knocked on my door to check if I was alive. FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, I guess my husband was trying to prove something by fixing our dishwasher himself instead of letting the maintenance man come. He watched videos on YouTube but ended up breaking it beyond repair, thus voiding the warranty. Now we have to replace the whole thing at full price. FML
Today, after a horrible day at work, I called my wife on the drive home and asked if she could start the kettle so I could have a cup of tea when I got home. She shrieked, "I'm not your maid!" and hung up on me, then threw hot water in my face when I got home. FML
Today, my son watched some ridiculous Japanese cartoon about shokugeki cooking and is convinced he's the greatest cook ever by copying what happens in the show. He set fire to my frying pan, panicked, and dumped it in the ceramic sink, which cracked from the heat and flooded my kitchen. FML
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Top comments
GoogieWithers 25
Those of us that believe there were many other examples of such behaviour before now and they still got married.
UnbrokenRose 13
Lots of people, myself included. He has anger issues that will most likely lead to him eventually hurting her, as well as being unable to perform even the simplest of tasks. And yet, as OP said herself, she still married him. Probably asks herself why every day, too.
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Comments (3)
DLBL 23
Who is saying, "YDI"? I am sorry your man can't handle the simplest task. I think Keurig is a perfectly fine way to heat any water, but breaking things in anger is childish and I'm sorry for you.
GoogieWithers 25
Those of us that believe there were many other examples of such behaviour before now and they still got married.
UnbrokenRose 13
Lots of people, myself included. He has anger issues that will most likely lead to him eventually hurting her, as well as being unable to perform even the simplest of tasks. And yet, as OP said herself, she still married him. Probably asks herself why every day, too.
Lost Reggie 22
My man, literally just set the cup of noodles in the place where the mug goes.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
When you saw him doing it wrong, why didn't you try to correct it? More importantly, if he has these kinds of anger issues, it could very well be you getting smashed one day instead of mugs and noodles.