Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I called my boyfriend and when he answered, I said the dirtiest thing I could think of to him on the phone. After a long silence, I heard, "Lacey? Is that you?" I accidentally called my dad. FML
Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said, "Hi, this is Lisa and I want you to fuck me raw." It was my dad. He was at my boyfriend's parents' house and forgot his phone. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML
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Top comments
Adeptus_Astartes 22
At least he didn't say, "Who's your daddy?" in return.
DaRito 25
I still wonder how people manage to do this.
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Comments (84)
knightofdarkness 21
Damn
Malecent 13
Holy shit I write damn and I get 20 dislikes he writes damn and gets 52 upvotes. I never realized how stupid society was until now ?
NeatNit 33
There goes the mood.
Adeptus_Astartes 22
At least he didn't say, "Who's your daddy?" in return.
lunaangel 14
oh but how perfect would that be if he did followed by a you are and a long lecture just to keep it from getting creepy
peceout 29
Yeah, that would be a whole different FML.
ProfessorMctitie 20
so now he knows his daughter is a naughty girl
PandaSmile 24
How. How did you do this?
JMichael 26
I'm assuming it went like this.. OP: Hey baby. I'm ready to have sex. I'm touching myself right now thinking about you. OP's dad: Honey, I appreciate the sentiment but your mother would kill me.
RenoTheRhino 30
Maybe OP wasn't wearing her contacts when she opened her contacts on her phone, and clicked on "Daddy" instead of "David
PePziNL 20
Or she used the voice command feature on her phone, and instead of 'Phillip' the phone called 'Dad' because voice recognition on phones ******* sucks
RedPillSucks 33
because she was using an iPhone and she's Scottish
ghetto_child 19
when he answered the phone you weren't able to tell the difference between their voices?
achoo123 13
She might have just started talking, not allowing her dad to speak first.
Anonypus 20
Yikes!
brownapple 22
I love your shoes! ?
DaRito 25
I still wonder how people manage to do this.
ComoEsJuan 24
Excitement tends to cloud judgement sometimes.
AnthraxPrincess 18
Maybe similar names in the phone like "Dad
thatonetribute 31
My only guess is that both her boyfriend and her dad were under "daddy" in her phone.
vinnerator 7
maybe she got confused Danny from daddy
RedPillSucks 33
or Brad and Daf
k_th0m 15
You guys are going to have a fun conversation tonight!
chrisann1023 21
That had to be embarrassing... I'm sorry that happened to you :/
vampire623 6
that has to be the understatement of the year
chrisann1023 21
What go you want me to put? That I'm happy for her? -_-
sunnyskys 25
dees nuts! Ha, got em!
Marleymoocheeks 3
I'm not sure which one of you would be more mortified.