Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was helping my wife bring in the groceries. She was able to carry 4 bags and a jug of milk. I was struggling with 2 bags. FML
Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML
Today, I tried to be helpful by holding the door open for a woman carrying boxes. She smiled and hurried toward me, then tripped and dropped everything at my feet. She stared at me like I'd caused it, and said, “Thanks” through clenched teeth. FML
Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML
Today, I was sitting in Walmart when I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with, "You know I'm a guy, right?" FML
Today, my partner and I got called out to a domestic disturbance. Things turned ugly while we were en-route. Long story short, I now know how many grown men it takes to lift a nearly 400lb shit-covered woman onto a stretcher. I almost reconsidered my choice of career. FML
Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over the threshold of our apartment, but he couldn't pick me up. FML
Today, I had a gym date with a girl from Tinder. As soon as I saw her loading up the 45s, I knew I was in trouble. She could squat and leg-press over 100 lbs more than me on both. Somehow she let me come over that night anyway. I challenged her to a wrestling match to try and gain back my pride, then she made me tap out. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Grand_Cookie 21
Don't do shit expecting a reward.
sierralem 3
What were you expecting that she was going to let you ravish her or something? Being nice to someone does not mean that they owe you anything in the romantic department.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (134)
a_love9 7
Just put it this way, you're more helpful than her boyfriend .
MarkEternal02 19
Only when it came to carrying the boxes. He'll never get to know if he could have been more helpful in any other way.
TheJester12 15
People pulling the altruism card. Please remove your head from your apparently mother Teresa asshole. the man helped her with her load . Surely an eye for an eye.........yep I'm still a pig .
Tempest559 12
The word bitch comes to mind.
emilyjgraham 34
You're not one of these guys that think girls should 'put out' just because a bloke does something polite for a woman do you? I mean yes, there are tonnes of girls in the world who will drop their knickers for a drink but there are tonnes of girls who won't! So personally, I don't think the girl was a bitch...
Llama_Face89 34
The word "pig" comes to mind.
NurseJonathan 9
Mister Llama is correct, it's obvious he's a pig since he would make such a comment, added with a picture of his bare upper body as though we're meant to be impressed.
Tempest559 12
Ok first I ment the guy was a bitch for carrying 60lbs for 30 minutes and expecting to get laid or something. Second I don't give a flying f**k about impressing you, but I'll change my pic just to make you happy. This is my elbow, I'm lucky to still have my arm let alone still force myself through a lot of pain to continue working out.
DarkStorm2Bad 14
On one hand, it's pretty sucky to be doing things in the hopes of fulfilling an ulterior motive, rather than out of the kindness of your heart. On the other hand, this could have just been a rather convenient-seeming ice-breaker, though - without either asking in the first place or waiting 'til you got to where she lives - there was no way you could have knew that she was already spoken for.
paprika_pilipili_fml 14
Nice to see you only help women when you want to hook up with them.
ryan112 12
Funny how her boyfriend didn't help. It could be a sign that he doesnt care that much to help her out. Stick in there and be her friend, especially when she needs you. :) Things will turn around OP. Give it time.
Mister_Triangle 21
Or maybe it's a sign that she went to the store without him, and didn't anticipate needing help. Do you also blame the guy for not going back in time and killing Hitler?
jellydoughnut41 7
If she went to the store I don't think she would have multiple boxes weighing sixty pounds, sounds more like they were moving in, in which case the boyfriend should have definitely been there helping.
Janice_Ian 13
"Stick in there and be her friend" No. Don't be someone's friend because you want something other than friendship from them. There are enough losers whining about getting "friendzoned" already, and that's just a plainly shitty thing to do. Think of how you'd feel if you found out one of your so-called friends was just biding their time through the tedious farce of hanging out and caring about you until they could spot a good chance to get what they *actually* want out of you.
Ziggy122 15
Huh. So you only bother to help women because you feel they owe you sex in return. You, sir, are a class-A douchebag.
amykins11 6
If you were carrying things for 30 minutes for her how did her having a boyfriend not come up in the conversation before you to the apartment... Would have been one of my first questions
Bibliovore 26
You'd rather the woman assume that his being helpful was an attempt to get into her pants, so make a point of bringing up her relationship status? Of course, this brings up what would have happened if she HAD mentioned her boyfriend. Would OP have stopped helping?
amykins11 6
It normally something that comes up when you're making small talk with someone whether you're interested in them or not...
sikunt89_fml 16
If you were only doing it to get in her pants you should have checked if she was single beforehand, YDI.
The_Thinker 18
I suppose you weren't able to get a hold of that last box you had in mind then.