Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over the threshold of our apartment, but he couldn't pick me up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Today, my fiancée got married. I did not. FML
Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML
Today, I almost got married. After the elaborate and very expensive wedding, my "husband" decided he did not want to sign the marriage license because he wasn't sure if he really wanted to settle down after all. FML
Today, I got married wearing a strapless dress. As I walked down the aisle, our wedding photographer stepped out behind me to get a shot of me approaching my husband. Instead of stepping out, though, he stepped on. Stepped on my dress. Pulling it completely down. FML
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML
Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard, "You may now kiss the bride!" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML
Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML
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Top comments
Isamermaid 17
Aww. Either you're fat or he's wimpy. Good one....
Teyros 24
Someone's a bi..*cough*
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Comments (140)
Isamermaid 17
Aww. Either you're fat or he's wimpy. Good one....
roobz_fml 0
he's just not strong enough, OP!
FML_Leet 0
Your Fat, or your husband needs to hit the gym
Astroman129 7
That's exactly what post #1 said. Way to be redundant.
smiley_ily 0
aww I bet that ruined the moment :( well congrats on getting married :)
dannnn_fml 0
here's a solution: you both can workout simple! a n t I f l o o d g o d I e haha error error error
paperisuseful 0
in soviet Russia, you carry husband over threshold of barn.
TheGuyPersonDude 0
your life sucks for getting married.
FML_Leet 0
#11 are you talking about me?
wreckem881 0
I would say it's equally tragic getting married and moving into an apartment
ajohnson2318 0
fatass
akaOtter 1
says the guy who can't afford a haircut, nor has anyone that can take a picture for him.
epoh_fml 0
not everyone has the finances to buy a home right away, wreckem :( and some people prefer apartments, I suppose.
chrissycrunk 1
YDI for being fat or having a wimpy boyfriend :)
comatoast 0
remember all those times you super sized your extra value meal?? yeah, that's why he couldn't carry you
Ms_Jessie22 8
Haha this reminds me of Shallow Hal :) OP just pick him up!
doink 0
I would prefer having an apartment starting out. They have the rest of their lives to buy a bigger place.
RosaOnThis 0
I predict a boring sex life
gutzzzz 0
I smell a wedding gift of a buy one get one free gym membership :)
JajaFMLer 3
Great Beginning Memories. To your marridge. haha FYL. I suggest you and your husband hit the gym!
tjrocks1294 0
someone get the flatbed!!
angelk12 6
ok this is NOT an fml ur just got married atleast ur husband isn't an ass u shouldn't be complaining about ur weight or his strength bcuz u married him for other reasons not his strength and he didn't marry u for ur weight this is toootally not an fml
amd3lky 0
redundents a funny word
Stoic1 0
48 No offense but you probably shouldn't be making fat jokes.
comatoast 0
I'm not fat I'm big boned!!!
romskiies 0
^^ ahahahahahahahaha calm down Eric lmfao
Vanessaxx 0
romskiies! youu blocked me so I can't send yuu messages anymore :/
AlyxxBearr 0
Damn Straight Jess!! :)
justj2010 0
Maybe you'd prefer a box under the bridge with a rat? To each their own. Some people prefer apartments & condos over houses- if they don't like the place in a few months for whatever reason, riding out a lease is way easier than selling a home-& if they like it, they can opt to buy it in their lease. Ah, what the hell- you probably never left the nest so none of this makes sense to you.
romskiies 0
shxt sorry Vanessa I use my itouch to reply haha at work right now so I'll unblock you later when I'm at work lol :D
snipersdelight 0
wow you must be really fat
deathcab7 0
well either you need to loose weight or he needs to gain muscle. gym membership perhaps?
cbr600_fml 0
then don't get fat
romskiies 0
home* :P
iSwag 0
LMAO!! 63- EPIC ******* WIN!! LOL :D
TOASTMASTAR 0
Today, I got married. I tried to lift my wife over the threshold of our new apartment, but she was too fat. FML
Recontemplation 0
Sounds like OP's husband is a little bitch. Even if she is fat, most women aren't over 300. Every man should be able to deadlift at least 315, imho.
kyarush 10
yes! being a personal trainer pays off! and my wife is only like 120 soaking wet
OhaiChristina 0
Your hair is pretty. xD
hackymeal 0
Op you need that thing that the grandma bought in the other fml!
xDancer101x 0
why does everyone think she's fat maybe the husband needs to hit the gym.....
cardinallove 11
... so is he weak or are you huge? I don't normally say this, but I think we need more info to determine FYL or YDI.
elcartel 0
lesbians
whirlybird 0
Wreckem I'm a nurse and make enough money for a house, but I wouldn't have time to manage it with all my crazy shifts. If you walked into my apartment- you wouldn't be using the word tragic. Your comment was snobby and pretentious. And OP- the real FML is that you got married.
justj2010 0
actually, they're only like that for the cameras but I don't mind. these girls are in the band t.a.t.u.
merp 0
OR maybe she's just taller than him? its not a bad thing, really.
elwoods 0
Posting on FML the day you get married? Don't you have more important things to be doing?
rosemary1990 0
awww at least he tried
lovelove24 1
ydi for gettin married.
Ultimate_Batman 28
wtf is wrong with you
awhsum 0
haha
littlemissdqgirl 8
I would be so sad if my fiancé couldn't pick me up. That sucks op.
epoh_fml 0
I agree :(
wreckem881 0
don't you just hate those fat bitches. they are the WORST
dannnn_fml 0
two words: lose. weight. fattty patty
Teyros 24
Someone's a bi..*cough*
alana415 0
LmFao.... ur pretty big I feel sorry
sAnChEz_98 0
awww that sucks! maybe..... you two can work out together, to get him stronger and you thinner (if need be)! :) i bet he still loves you!
orangesodaftw 0
Look on the bright side, you are married.