Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends walking down the street carrying a large bag. I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. When he got in, I noticed a horrible stench. He then told me he'd just been dumpster diving. FML
Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML
Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over the threshold of our apartment, but he couldn't pick me up. FML
Today, I ran out of moving boxes so I used a few garbage bags to pack up my clothes. My new roommate decided to be helpful by putting those green garbage bags in the dumpster. It was garbage day. FML
Today, while my husband and I were cleaning out a closet, he went outside to throw out some trash. He was taking a long time to return and I went to make sure he was OK. He was in the living room watching TV instead of helping me. FML
Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML
Today, my husband got mad at me for not helping take out the groceries from the car. He yelled that I'm lazy, and that he regrets our marriage. I guess he forgot that the door handle on that side is broken and he had to let me out of the car. FML
Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML
Today, I was texting at work when my manager walked in. I quickly dropped my phone in the garbage to avoid trouble. Since I was working so hard, she decided to do me a favor and throw the trash out for me. FML
Today, while working at my truck stop, I helped a trucker check his tires. He seemed like a pretty nice guy, and we chatted for a bit. After he took off and I walked back inside, I went to clean the shower he was in before. Turns out he took a shit on the floor. His wife had been in there with him. FML
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Top comments
ihavenolifehaha 16
He sounds really trashy
sweetbliss3 37
he sounds over dramatic. because he can't just do something nice and not act like a moron because you're married.
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Comments (113)
ihavenolifehaha 16
He sounds really trashy
coming back in the future 30
Smh 1
lex1459 38
I guess in his mind, he took out her trash, now he gets to take her out, too.
coming back in the future 30
Well he never had it in the bag. Ill show myself out
incoherentrmblr 22
Should've pulled a "THIS IS SPARTA" a the top of the stairs, then ducked inside...
ilovefall10 21
And you let him?
ElizaWy 25
As opposed to what... attack the guy? Jump on his back and beat him with a shoe?
mikepzz 27
I don't think enough people get a good old fashioned shoe beating..
empbob 20
I think more people in the world need a good shoe beating...
thebigtwinkie 28
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
i suppose it's kind of a flattering way to feel solicited, but then again he sound trashy and profitable, it's a good thing you were married
shadypalmtree 20
he didn't have to get out of his car. sure his actions after she told him she was married was a bit trashy, but he seems like a good guy, just with a serious attitude problem.
Zomg_Okay 27
He's not a good guy. His sole motivation for helping was so OP would accept his offer of a date.
withered 30
He is not a good guy. He is a "nice guy" -> Self entitled prick with nothing to offer (no personality, no looks,...) that thinks people should be with him just because he PRETENDS to be nice.
sweetbliss3 37
he sounds over dramatic. because he can't just do something nice and not act like a moron because you're married.
jewelia13 12
Actually, there have been a lot of instances of male violence against women after the men were turned down. It's quite scary - OP was lucky! :(
garrett_8614 14
Talk about a sore loser
sayyestothedress 24
It was worth a shot
flurpiee 14
Men are always so chivalrous.
corleon198425 22
sounds like your husband needs to take out some trash
LoganEdJ 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Her husband should also probably have a talking to the jerkwad as well.
whyusofat 17
WHOOOSH the joke went right over your head.
kitsy 14
This is why people have little faith in humanity...
ihavenolifehaha 16
Yeah, one idiot makes people have little faith in humanity.
Epikatz 22
#6, I believe that would be the internet in general actually.
SirMichael 13
The thing that makes me lose faith in humanity is people copy and pasting the same bullshit comments all over the internet. This "faith in humanity" thing needs to end soon.
foxwasalamb 24
woooooow. has this guy ever heard of a thing called maturity? not everyone is jocking for his nuts
Queensland 27
I hate people like that. Won't do a nice gesture without an expectation of some sort. And then get shitty when turned down. Ass.
Axel5238 29
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Same people that are constantly immature and scream don't judge me when doing stupid shit. It's gotten worse. Same ones that got literally to also mean figuratively because they couldn't use it properly.
Mauskau 36
If people weren't only nice in the hopes that they could get laid, the world would be a nicer place.
nikmiester 7
This!
Squishant 10
guy is a total dick!
more4me 27
why would #12 get thumbed down ? I agree. the guy is a douche.
larrena2377 26
Well, he was thinking with it.