Today, my partner and I got called out to a domestic disturbance. Things turned ugly while we were en-route. Long story short, I now know how many grown men it takes to lift a nearly 400lb shit-covered woman onto a stretcher. I almost reconsidered my choice of career. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML
Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML
Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML
Today, I realised just how grossly out of shape I am, when I started violently sweating, felt light-headed, and almost blacked out. All this from helping my sister shift a sofa from the move-in truck to her living room. FML
Today, my husband was finally moving out. I picked up his enormous duffle bag full of clothes to help get him out faster, and I threw out my back. I now can't move. I can't even wipe my own ass. FML
Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML
Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML
Today, I answered the door at my boyfriend's house to an obese woman, who looked and smelled homeless, and rudely tried to barge past me to get inside. I told her to get out or I’d call the police. My boyfriend behind me saw this disgusting woman and said those two awful words: “Hi Mom.” FML
Today, I found an upside to being morbidly obese. My partner got a flat tyre, and the bolts had rusted tight, making it impossible for him to turn the wrench. I had to put my substantial weight behind it, and in the end we managed to get them all off by me jumping on the wrench each time. FML
Today, while working at my truck stop, I helped a trucker check his tires. He seemed like a pretty nice guy, and we chatted for a bit. After he took off and I walked back inside, I went to clean the shower he was in before. Turns out he took a shit on the floor. His wife had been in there with him. FML
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Top comments
Miss_Chevious 37
I would have said it could've been worse... but really, I got nothing.
david66_fml 20
I'm kinda curious as to how something like that happens. We need a follow up!
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Comments (92)
Miss_Chevious 37
I would have said it could've been worse... but really, I got nothing.
Talis99 26
She could have been naked. There's always worse.
DoomSkuller 28
who says she wasn't naked
drayloon 50
She could have been 500 pounds?
Wookieeluck 13
She could've fallen on top of OP...
blazingshot147 19
Have you not seen any TV? It can ALWAYS get worse. Like Billy Miers once said "But wait, THERE'S MORE!"
SoulEaterSE 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sounds like a stupid comment
crudeandrudeguy 29
Ya, yours really does. Good call
ladoom 23
Partner*
Loliology 10
Look on the bright side, at least you're not her xp
DMDiaz 15
Sorry, OP. That's disgusting. But at least you're helping people!
saifnaqvi11 21
Damn
david66_fml 20
I'm kinda curious as to how something like that happens. We need a follow up!
drayloon 50
I'm kinda curious how many men it took
Brandi_Faith 34
Ya, this needs a follow up more than any other fml I've ever read! You said it was a domestic disturbance, doesn't that usually mean fighting? Did her husband throw the crap at her? So many questions. I hope op follows up soon!
MrsPegg 45
I have made a few guesses to what may have happened. At 400 pounds, moving is difficult and tiring. The domestic dispute escalated and the woman may have been unable to move away from her partner and out of fear, crapped herself. . . Or maybe she is bedridden and has been crapping herself for a while now and the dispute started because she was mad at her partner for not cleaning her or doing something she wanted and just got extremely violent from there. So many possibilities!
Loveyou6611 20
Be thankful you will not have to be the one to give her a bath!
laden_swallow09 35
Bath? You mean turn on the firehose?
skyline0392 8
Haha I've dealt with that a lot in this job lol I would say hopefully it's the last but it never is! Stay safe out there
PrincessZelda_HR 22
Really? That does not sound like it should be common...
donuts678 25
What...just so many questions