Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was helping my wife bring in the groceries. She was able to carry 4 bags and a jug of milk. I was struggling with 2 bags. FML
Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML
Today, I tried to be helpful by holding the door open for a woman carrying boxes. She smiled and hurried toward me, then tripped and dropped everything at my feet. She stared at me like I'd caused it, and said, “Thanks” through clenched teeth. FML
Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML
Today, I was sitting in Walmart when I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with, "You know I'm a guy, right?" FML
Today, my partner and I got called out to a domestic disturbance. Things turned ugly while we were en-route. Long story short, I now know how many grown men it takes to lift a nearly 400lb shit-covered woman onto a stretcher. I almost reconsidered my choice of career. FML
Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over the threshold of our apartment, but he couldn't pick me up. FML
Today, I had a gym date with a girl from Tinder. As soon as I saw her loading up the 45s, I knew I was in trouble. She could squat and leg-press over 100 lbs more than me on both. Somehow she let me come over that night anyway. I challenged her to a wrestling match to try and gain back my pride, then she made me tap out. FML
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Top comments
Grand_Cookie 21
Don't do shit expecting a reward.
sierralem 3
What were you expecting that she was going to let you ravish her or something? Being nice to someone does not mean that they owe you anything in the romantic department.
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Comments (134)
Perfectg 9
Swing and a miss
onorexveritas 24
ulterior motives get the best of us
ForeverAloneGal 23
That's karma for being a douche, expecting to get some for carrying boxes.
Stefanie88 24
What did you think she would do? Give you a thank you blow?
pattayarick 8
We men are soooo f'n stupid when it comes to a pretty face
marshmallowstoat 3
Guys, next time a woman gives you a dirty look for offering to help her, remember it's because we can't tell from looking at you if you're a decent person or some creep like this. I refuse all help from strangers, even when I need it, because you can't tell who's going to turn round and demand you blow them.
awkward_gothlady 32
Why not just help her out because it's a kindhearted thing to do, not because you're hoping it will help you get in her pants? I'm single, and if some guy helped me carry heavy boxes, I'd definitely be very grateful, but a guy has to be more to me than "the guy who carried my boxes" before he will be able to successfully seduce me.
waltjrimmer 6
Dude, you did a nice thing, let that be that. Don't be a jerk and hope it's anything more than that.
russianspy1234 11
So the only reason you do something nice is to try and get laid? Not doing our Mother Russia proud.
who10nanny 8
Why didn't she get her lazy ass boyfriend to help her?