Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was helping my wife bring in the groceries. She was able to carry 4 bags and a jug of milk. I was struggling with 2 bags. FML
Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML
Today, I tried to be helpful by holding the door open for a woman carrying boxes. She smiled and hurried toward me, then tripped and dropped everything at my feet. She stared at me like I'd caused it, and said, “Thanks” through clenched teeth. FML
Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML
Today, I was sitting in Walmart when I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with, "You know I'm a guy, right?" FML
Today, my partner and I got called out to a domestic disturbance. Things turned ugly while we were en-route. Long story short, I now know how many grown men it takes to lift a nearly 400lb shit-covered woman onto a stretcher. I almost reconsidered my choice of career. FML
Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over the threshold of our apartment, but he couldn't pick me up. FML
Today, I had a gym date with a girl from Tinder. As soon as I saw her loading up the 45s, I knew I was in trouble. She could squat and leg-press over 100 lbs more than me on both. Somehow she let me come over that night anyway. I challenged her to a wrestling match to try and gain back my pride, then she made me tap out. FML
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Top comments
Grand_Cookie 21
Don't do shit expecting a reward.
sierralem 3
What were you expecting that she was going to let you ravish her or something? Being nice to someone does not mean that they owe you anything in the romantic department.
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Comments (134)
Pensu 12
Wow you are the biggest douche. Doing a woman a favor doesn't make her obligated to sleep with you.
starlita_fml 15
Oh no, that's not how Russian men do this thing. believe it or not, they help women carry heavy stuff and so on 'cause that's common courtesy and we're basically weaker than you. so as a Russian I must say - it's pretty ******* weird when men don't offer that kind of help. and if you did it only expecting smth for yourself, then YDI
Enzi_fml 21
Let me guess, you're one of those guys who always complain about being "friendzoned"?
NikkiAmber09 12
I know right?! "I'm a nice guy!" The dude probably has an okcupid account.
lambda_fml 40
Better luck next time, Jack the Russian.
Shenannigoats 16
Maybe you should start doing favours for people without expecting sex in return.
Flaum 7
Why is everyone picking on the bf?? We don't know the situation--maybe he didn't know she was in need of assistance. And maybe the OP was actually being nice and trying to help her solely because she needed help, and his attraction to her was a side thing. *shrugs*
Xotoolyxo 16
Ouch, at least you're a good person. Head up.
etoilenuit 15
But her boyfriend wasn't out helping her carry them like he should've been. I say, you still earned points in her book. Ya never know..
Grauncho 27
This FML says a lot about the kind of person you are. You're a giant bag of ****.
russfml 31
He never said he's trying to sleep with her. Putting myself I his position after carrying the boxes and thinking she maybe single for not mentioning anything about a boyfriend I would be asking her for her number. If she was creeped out or thought he was trying to sleep with her I don't think she would accept his help