Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was helping my wife bring in the groceries. She was able to carry 4 bags and a jug of milk. I was struggling with 2 bags. FML
Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML
Today, I tried to be helpful by holding the door open for a woman carrying boxes. She smiled and hurried toward me, then tripped and dropped everything at my feet. She stared at me like I'd caused it, and said, “Thanks” through clenched teeth. FML
Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML
Today, I was sitting in Walmart when I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with, "You know I'm a guy, right?" FML
Today, my partner and I got called out to a domestic disturbance. Things turned ugly while we were en-route. Long story short, I now know how many grown men it takes to lift a nearly 400lb shit-covered woman onto a stretcher. I almost reconsidered my choice of career. FML
Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over the threshold of our apartment, but he couldn't pick me up. FML
Today, I had a gym date with a girl from Tinder. As soon as I saw her loading up the 45s, I knew I was in trouble. She could squat and leg-press over 100 lbs more than me on both. Somehow she let me come over that night anyway. I challenged her to a wrestling match to try and gain back my pride, then she made me tap out. FML
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Top comments
Grand_Cookie 21
Don't do shit expecting a reward.
sierralem 3
What were you expecting that she was going to let you ravish her or something? Being nice to someone does not mean that they owe you anything in the romantic department.
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Comments (134)
xYin 16
And people say it doesn't hurt to try... Sucks for you though, OP xD
jarrettd 27
You shouldn't walk into a good deed expecting a reward.
CubanBitchh 10
"Oh hey, you just carried some boxes for me. Now let's go ****!" OP is stupid. Did he honestly think he'd get some action for carrying boxes? .-.
Pandacupcakelove 26
#44 Maybe he just saw it as an opportunity to get to know her and ask her out?
SomeRandomGuy15 18
51- If that were the case, OP should use a word other than "seduction", which implies he only cares about getting into her pants.
Pandacupcakelove 26
You're right about that.. Just realised after I posted my comment. :P
Dunkstruction 12
8====>
Grand_Cookie 21
Don't do shit expecting a reward.
ThePsyche 9
Much less sex. Smh.
perdix 31
#2, why did he give up so easily? He could have angled for a three-way. I know it's not the kind most guys fantasize about, but when you have a shot with a "very attractive young woman," you take the good with the bad (and then hope the bad doesn't make a cameo in Uranus.)
NurseJonathan 9
I don't know. A glass of water can escalate to sex. Please don't tell me anyone forgot of that FML.
MrConcise 35
**** logic is real, but clever ladies override that.
Keevarou 17
The good news is that you did a good deed anyway, even though your intentions were not all in the right places, you should have thought that you could have been disappointed though to lessen the expectations and the shock :) My thinking is: "if he/she is pretty, it is possible that the person may have a partner"
Oceanborn_fml 24
so I'd they aren't pretty, it's not possible they have a partner? strange thinking
angeluv_2014 22
I'm still wondering why the **** her boyfriend wasn't helping her?
Pwib 14
A true Russian would not complain about carrying heavy boxes. Or let a boyfriend get in his way.
CrysisAverted 5
A true Russian would have been russian to the point and not stalin by helping carry the boxes.
perdix 31
A true Russian would whine and complain before, during and after the whole process. Where's the vodka? Don't you have any beef Stroganoff? Why is it so hot? How come no sexy time? Where's the vodka? How can you not have vodka?
perdix 31
#10, he'd be Lenin a hand and Trotsky over to her place Putin one box here, Andropov the other over there.
perdix 31
#86, thank you. I'm sorry the inspiration didn't hit me sooner -- I think this comment could have gotten high Marx!
bassfisher100 23
you guys Crack me up XD
sierralem 3
What were you expecting that she was going to let you ravish her or something? Being nice to someone does not mean that they owe you anything in the romantic department.
sleepy_fires 13
Maybe he meant it as an introduction/ice breaker so he could ask her to hang out later.
sarah2144 14
Just because she was struggling with boxes doesn't mean she was trying to seduce you...
GigaPudding_fml 24
I think OP is talking about his own attempt to seduce her and not the other way around :)
spottyblanket 8
I think the first commenter hit it on the head. You should be thinking you did something nice, not be trying to get in her pants.
Mister_Triangle 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Men are biologically encoded to do anything if it improves their chances of mating, regardless of how small that improvement may be. Doing something out of nicety may be a pleasant thought, but it's simply not realistic.
TheNewGuy03 29
Yes, we all like things to justify our efforts, but I do virtually the opposite. I literally *tell* people not to give me anything if I do something for them.
\ 28
#31, if that truly is the case, then why are so many men fat, lazy, and/or rude?
Mister_Triangle 21
For the same reason that many women are fat, lazy, and rude: because that's just how some people choose to live. That's definitely not a male trait.
poopsi 19
Why did you assume you would get some by helping her carry boxes? That's just disgusting. Just do it out of kindness next time. You'll get a lot farther with girls if you don't just think of them for sex.
94yhy 8
Hot women — making us do things for them under our free will.
FinJage 18
What is this free will you're talking about?
goreajek 13
Wait, why wasn't the boyfriend helping carry the boxes? And how is a woman struggling to cary boxes a seduction attempt? Unless i am totally missing something here....
GigaPudding_fml 24
OP is talking about -his- seduction attempt :)
Dynosaur_dollie 38
I was wondering the same thing about the boy friend. Why was he leaving the heavy boxes for his girlfriend to carry and not helping, that seems a little weird. If I couldn't carry the boxes I'd give my boyfriend a call to help me out. Also I don't think it's a very useful seduction technique to carry boxes for a lady, more like a good deed...
samimcCune 15
maybe just maybe, the boyfriend was incapable of helping for some reason. men are capable of hurting themselves contrary to their ego, and belief, they can't do everything. maybe he has an injury that prevented him from helping. or possibly he's just an ass... there's just no way to know right now. although i do agree with previous comments, he shouldn't have went into this expecting a reward for his good deed, but giving the op the benefit of the doubt here, his expectation may not have been sex and could've been just a date, though unlikely. but at the same time, people find their partners many different ways and this is just another one of those ways. it does sound like it came directly from watching way to many shitty pornos but still you have to try somehow unless you want to spend your entire life alone...