KJL
United States
Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
disgusted
Harpenden, United Kingdom
The language of love
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
anonymous
Saint John's, Canada
Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML
AMP4U
United States
It sort of is
Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years-old. FML
Anonymous
United States
The real Zodiac killer?
Today, I told my husband that we should write down all our passwords so we don't forget them. Later, after he'd left, I pulled out his password sheet to do a little snooping, only to learn that he'd written them in some sort of bizarre cipher. What's he hiding? FML
Thanks Honey
United States
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
Anonymous
Breathtaking view
Today, my husband farted while he was naked and bending over to pick up his clothes, so me lying on the bed got a perfect view of his butthole twitching and flapping around as the gas escaped. Who says romance is dead? FML
woundedexwife
United States
Today, I realized why my husband had been seemingly wanting to improve our relationship by sending little texts throughout the day for the last couple of months, asking what I was doing. It was so he could find out when would be the best time to have his girlfriend over and cheat on me. FML
Anonymous
United States
Hilarious
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Susan
Canada
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Phoebe
Singapore
Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML
Top comments
Johnothan 0
That's hilarious. He's winning
Ads11 10
*Twilight Zone Tune*
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (184)
Johnothan 0
That's hilarious. He's winning
FFPulley 9
It's really cramped in here *stop* you must realease us *stop* we will destroy your sense of smell *stop* that is all *stop*
cwissi 5
What are they saying?
bubble25_fml 5
Dear human *stop* please stop eating spicy Mexican food *stop* You are slowly destroying us *stop*
JipvS 15
Well, did they?
Kyzahhh 7
He may be onto something....
SammIght 7
Your husband is a boss!
crabbyabby718 0
Beans beans the magical fruit. The more you eat the more you piss off your wife
nixter5 18
....the hell?!
MichellinMan 20
This is probably one of the funniest fmls I have ever read.... Your dad is a tard
itsmeyippie 0
69, if anyone is a tard it is you, atleast the HUSBAND knows how to read
ducttapewallet 7
I dot know about yours, but mine are. They told me I need more fiber. Good to know and completely relevant. Awesome.
tatababe 1
You have married a genius
Keyman1212 14
In the 70's, the DoD set up a sleeper agent system, where they trained little children to use Morris Code while farting to communicate, and protect the nation's secrets. Obviously he's about to be reactivated.
laneylovesu2 3
S.O.S.! You are going to have a painful shit later. Just thought I'd warn you.
FFPulley 9
94- it's Morse code, not Morris. Just thought I'd help you out there a bit.
ImFrackinBored 13
Just like Charlie Sheen...
TGRandom 5
At least he isn't googling ****
TGRandom 5
At least he isn't googling ****
walterism 0
your husband might be a genius
Mipz 2
That's one I've never heard before. o.o
lmfaoloool 0
He's a keeper
TheresNoEffingwa 7
Google is a snitch smh
BehindU 5
Elephants are the only mammals with feet that cant jump thats one you haven't heard before...
FernAdele 9
you've got a good'en
ScaughtieHolden 11
Why couldn't you just type, "good one"?
zachherbert 10
Your face is funnier, just saying
_Oblivion_ 12
67 wuts wrong with saying good'en?
ogplusog 4
Why can't the French just speak latin?
FernAdele 9
it's just how I usually say it :|
usmcjarhead94 0
hey what's up
IVIikey_312 0
169- this isn't a chat site.
Stan_Cubed 7
Win for saying good'en. I use that phrase also. Its fun to say and write :)
Rahaf 0
Is he serious?!
minisquid 9
He is. The Feds are mind controlling THROUGH FARTS *puts on tinfoil hat*
MsMeiriona 2
That'd be the wrong end! Unless it's a tinfoil ass-hat.
Ads11 10
*Twilight Zone Tune*
hailphire130 0
Husband: Is God trying to communicate with me through my farts?
docscientist 10
No, silly, god communicates through massive floods and mass murder.
ZeldaPaulThingy 17
I would like this comment a million times if I could
KrazieKleo 13
Well what are they telling him?
overthelimit 3
that he needs to take a shit or go easy on the beans.
wmsdubstep 6
That's actually funny LOL. Fart by him see what he says
crinx034 0
*wife farts by husband* Husband - ... We should see other people.
tonnyfong 3
He sure have a lot of free time.
klsydggn 16
*has
capt_awesome1 11
maybe his farts are trying to communicate with you !! :O
TheiMightyKhaL 2
lol that's awesome