Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML
Today, I thought I might need some anger-management classes, after I punched a hole in a kitchen cabinet when my dog wouldn't stop yapping every time the rooster my neighbors just got made a noise. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML
Today, I came home in an awful mood, and grumbled to my wife that sometimes I want to strangle my boss. My wife regularly screams up and down the house over the most minor shit, but apparently this upset her so much that she took the kids to her mom's, and is demanding I get anger management. FML
Today, I was so tired at work that I stared at the microwave waiting for my food. It was a full minute before I realized I'd never actually turned it on after I'd put the food in it. FML
Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, bitch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML
Today, I was trying to lower the volume on my TV, but nothing was happening. I got increasingly frustrated, smacking the remote and yelling at the screen. My brain finally woke up when I realized I was holding the air conditioning remote and had been turning my living room into a freezer instead. FML
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Top comments
Akumie 6
Pore microwave.:c it was just doing its job. **** your microwave's life
grahambertus 11
Yes, that PORE microwave. All it ever wanted was to be a hair follicle, but now its just a pimple.
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Comments (141)
dapheronixx03 6
i dont scream but i do always stop it like a second before it ends :$
badactor009 0
Might have a trace or two of OCD going on in there, huh? Got any other interesting obsessive compulsive disorder "Monk-like" behaviors you want to share with us?
Blanca781720 5
Did it reply?
YahImThatGuy 0
I'm right there with you op
eveadamsnyc 2
WTF! Stop being so angry. That could've been your loved ones face. Stop being that angry. It doesn't help anyone.
cody3c 3
I know what you mean lol
badactor009 0
Nobody likes an angry asshole. Address the issue. Get some help before your anger problem spills over into other areas of your life and causes real problems. Counseling probably won't make you jump for joy all the time but you could be absent the anger, which is a great thing, and not acting out like an angry asshole.
poppetpea 5
Go get help :) it'll save you some unwanted trouble in the longterm. Also, don't listen to the people who comment on this saying you're an asshole it'll only make you worse, they're the assholes.
CharliesCool2084 8
That's funny. I posted the same FML yesterday but it was never moderated, hmmm.
BradleysMommie 0
Anger Management :D
michaeljcaboose 7
Um, well at least you were taking your anger out on inanimate objects rather than a human being with actual feelings. Still, maybe you should see your doc, work out your issues and if all else fails get some happy pills