Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML
Today, I thought I might need some anger-management classes, after I punched a hole in a kitchen cabinet when my dog wouldn't stop yapping every time the rooster my neighbors just got made a noise. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML
Today, I came home in an awful mood, and grumbled to my wife that sometimes I want to strangle my boss. My wife regularly screams up and down the house over the most minor shit, but apparently this upset her so much that she took the kids to her mom's, and is demanding I get anger management. FML
Today, I was so tired at work that I stared at the microwave waiting for my food. It was a full minute before I realized I'd never actually turned it on after I'd put the food in it. FML
Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, bitch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML
Today, I was trying to lower the volume on my TV, but nothing was happening. I got increasingly frustrated, smacking the remote and yelling at the screen. My brain finally woke up when I realized I was holding the air conditioning remote and had been turning my living room into a freezer instead. FML
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Top comments
Akumie 6
Pore microwave.:c it was just doing its job. **** your microwave's life
grahambertus 11
Yes, that PORE microwave. All it ever wanted was to be a hair follicle, but now its just a pimple.
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Comments (141)
arielzbkny 0
No ur just crazy...
SoultheWolf 19
What the hell is wrong with you... I feel sorry for anyone who gets into a romantic relationship with you...
pwiseman 6
Microwave bips are awful. You're right to scream about it.
Altie 13
I think you've got more than just anger issues
zamattiac 4
Good for you! The first step is admitting you have a problem.
bubo_fml 11
You sound like you could use a "Talkie Toaster!"
bubo_fml 11
Reduce your stress level in the kitchen...Start with a Betty Crocker Easy Bake Oven & work your way up...
cunningchick 1
You know I think you might be right on that one:)
structuredchaoz 4
You really need to go get help. Get to the root of your issues and deal with them.
brightaylar 4
I am laughing so hard right now