Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, bitch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML
Today, I was playing some CoD online, when I realised I'd started humming an annoyingly catchy Bieber tune. Before I could come to my senses and pull out my mic, a bunch of my teammates started sarcastically singing along. FML
Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML
Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML
Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML
Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML
Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML
Today, I tried to reheat some leftover pizza in the microwave but forgot to take the plastic wrap off. The microwave filled with smoke, and the plastic melted onto the pizza. I ate burnt plastic-flavored pizza for lunch, because pizza is pizza and I couldn't bring myself to through it away. FML
Today, I was making one of those microwavable pizza kits. Realizing I had no crushed red pepper to put on it, my mom suggested using a chili pepper she had dried. Thinking it was a great idea, I cracked it open on my pizza and out popped some fuzzy white mold and two maggots. FML
Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
So you're a spawncamper? ...I hate you.
Fichael 0
don't feel bad I've been throwing stuff at ppl thinking I'm using a tomahawk
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Comments (178)
MrSkinnyJeans 0
lol I play to much too.
redheadregect 0
am I the only one that knows the weapon/map cheat?
tekcor 2
Your poor brain. COD is just Battlefield for pansies.
GiggidyPants 0
black ops is for queers
labratory5 0
lol **** yes cod is the shit
movie141 0
gotta love black ops
2552_fml 0
battlefield ftw
slappygecko 21
:D agreed
KittehSayzRAWR 0
LOL, I'm on a 47 win streak right now haha.
robj118 10
I realized I play too much when I started having War dreams
DivakiddOsz 5
add qLAMOROUSz on live (: I'll rape all of you :D seriously.. I'm a beast .
jacetopia96 1
it's an addiction. I can stop when I want to. lol
tompullinger 0
ur a ******
ComMed1 0
medal of honor is better
idonthaveanameok 0
i hate self-evoking FML posts, dont bother trying to go through the sympathy path.
PieInTheSky24 0
Rofl I used to play cod alot as well and whenever my phone ran out of battery it became an accidental habit to say "my phone's out of ammo" xD
prousey 0
hehe me too lvl 40 on Xbl now GT dahiddenkilla
G_thelegend 0
LOL
ninjanate 0
lmfao.
lalagirl912 0
Tee-Hee FLUG ANTI FLOOD!
null_fml 11
So you're a spawncamper? ...I hate you.
Bees_fml 0
What's a spawn bitch? (I don't play.)
redheadregect 0
a noon that kill you when you come back to life
Arachu 5
he was telling the pizza to hurry up and spawn so he could kill it... little did he know it had a martyrdom waiting for him... >=)
bwhahaha_fml 10
don't you get spawn shield?
airforce987 20
72 your username is your answer to your question
rallets 23
#89 ...how?
greeneyedgoalie7 0
#96 exactly
Sikk33 0
Maybe he just likes to play hardcore?? And just hates waiting for the spawn timer.. just a thought..
thrAsHeRr9081 16
115- That's the impression I got. I get the same way. Sometimes spawn time is ******* outrageous.
tex_mex13 0
hah!!
Hgielad_720 0
Lmao, that's hilarious. But you're retarded.
De3z 0
is there such thing as to much COD?
CitrusGirl 0
Yes. It's called buying the prestige edition, calling in sick for the week and having 2 days played already. My brother knows a kid like that.
Lucidium 0
COD is overrated. Play some Barbie Adventures or something.
punkylemon 4
51 WIN.
LeChuck 0
boring fml. so you play a lot of call of duty. big deal.
Nadinek98 0
I feel srry for Ur sex life ... if u have one .. god damn cod nerds these days.
Mpsteve13 7
I bet your about to use your computer for **** cause that's the extent of your sex life
thrAsHeRr9081 16
hey now, not cool.
And_Jelly 0
CoD is overrated, I hate it, and the physics suck but I'm addicted to FPS. Give FPS a try, maybe you'll take that comment back.
bh0p 0
FPS? What's that because I don't wanna sound stupid and say First Person Shooter. Because COD falls into that catergorey as well.
chalkdust 4
FPS is first-person shooter...
Naitras 15
or frames per second
HamsteronA 0
FPS is fat people stink
allmidnighteyes 11
I LOVE TOTINOS PIZZA!
mimibabyboo24 0
ehh pizza rolls are better I think
Fichael 0
don't feel bad I've been throwing stuff at ppl thinking I'm using a tomahawk
xxKAGExx 0
total win hahaha
davault 0
everyone at my school does that except we use throwing knife style still
nobunaga0416 0
I do that shit just cuz it's fun.