Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML
Today, I was backing out of my snowy drive way on my way to work. I thought I hit a lump of snow. I'd run over my white cat. FML
Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML
Today, I swerved to avoid running over a dead cat in the road. Instead, I ran over its head. The crack of its skull was loud enough for me to hear it. FML
Today, I swerved to miss hitting a kitten, over-corrected, hit and killed the cat, and totaled my truck by hitting a parked car. FML
Today, my cat got outside and had the bright idea to walk in the middle of the road, right as a car was coming. The driver didn't notice him, so I had to sprint over there, leap into the road, and toss my cat to safety. He's fine, aside from being soaked (he landed in a puddle), but I've felt better. FML
Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML
Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my new car. FML
Today, while going for a walk, I saw two bunnies next to the road. Apparently, I was scarier than the oncoming traffic, because one of them decided to sprint into the road as I walked by. I could hear its bones crunch as it got hit by a car. FML
Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML
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Top comments
lizzzie_fml 0
You cry while driving - you pull over! YDI.
danielrp34 7
Good.....Let the evil run through you.....
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Comments (271)
AshleyRose784 0
shit happens. take a deep breath, feel bad for a while and get over it!
famas48 0
You heartless ****, go and die in a silent place!
SimpleSimon 0
"It's coming right for us!" "Thin out their numbers!"
f0rg3t_m3_n0t 0
Yay! South Park references!!
jackdaniels_fml 0
learn to drive or get off the road!
manderpander 0
What kind of dumb ass hits a cat and keeps driving before looking to see if it had a collar? Cold-hearted trash. Furthermore, how the **** did you get your license? You murdered a second animal because you're too stupid to know when to pull over? Please start walking everywhere to save the rest of us.
ebony13579 0
cry me a river build me a bridge and get ******* over it.
alexzhou04 0
Srry but this is sooo funny.
the_deuce 0
Okay.... Now that is pathetic. COME ON you are supposed to keep your TEARY EYES on the road and pay attention.
guitardedman 0
WOMEN ARE KILLING MACHINES BEHIND THE WHEEL OF A CAR. (its a joke, lighten up skanks) also, 16, go play hopscotch on the train-tracks you dumb ******* hippie. "humans made the world the shithole it is today"??? are you ******* kidding me? if you hate the human race this much do us all a favor and leave the specie for us. humans learned how, despite our size, to become the most powerful predator this world has ever seen. We evolved and learned and adapted to make weapons to kill the largest and scariest of creatures and with such ease that humans are on the tip top of the food chain, while we are not biologically equipped to take down such beasts. you are a stupid ******* hippie who probably just watches the news and whines about how much you hate america and global warming and want to jump on the "go green" bandwagon. and that makes me a presumptuous asshole, but i am at least smart enough to know that humans are the ******* elite specie.
tbagg74 0
I don't understand why you were upset cats are killing machines and porcupines aren't very cute problem solved I hope this makes you feel better
1R1X0X0 10
I hope that some day you recognize your stupidity and will be very very ashamed of yourself.