Today, I swerved to miss hitting a kitten, over-corrected, hit and killed the cat, and totaled my truck by hitting a parked car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML
Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML
Today, I swerved to avoid running over a dead cat in the road. Instead, I ran over its head. The crack of its skull was loud enough for me to hear it. FML
Today, I swerved off the road and hit a tree in order to avoid hitting a dog that came out of nowhere. Don't worry, I didn't hit him. The person behind me did, though. FML
Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML
Today, while I was backing out of the my work's parking lot, I hit my boss's truck. While he was in it. FML
Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML
Today, I had two accidents in my car: one when a truck drove into its rear end, the other immediately after when my own rear end released its load onto the seat. FML
Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML
Today, I was backing out of my snowy drive way on my way to work. I thought I hit a lump of snow. I'd run over my white cat. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
It happened so slowly that the kitten matured into a cat during the swerve?
perdix 31
Did the swerve take such a long time that the kitten matured in a cat?
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Comments (142)
thatdood13 1
meow! splat!
sonnet 0
now the cat's left with 8 lives!
H8rSk8r 0
Today, I was just strolling down I-88 when this dumbass driver ran me over. There goes my seventh life. FML
jakii_ 0
should have killed the kitty
xxniteskie 1
He did. Hence the "and killed the cat," part of the FML.
NotYourOrdinary7 6
# 1. Hahaha I literally cracked up at this comment.
itz_scrumdidly 0
Why did you swerve to miss it?! You just missed out on 15 points for missing the kitten. At least you got 10 points for hitting the other cat. OP, you just missed out on a rare 25 point combo opportunity...
KingDingALing 9
Noooooooo! Kitty! Pet the kitty, pet the kitty, pet the kitty:)
lifeinhd 3
The problem is the OP owns a truck. Should of had a car, much more maneuverable. You survived the accident because you had a truck, but you could have avoided the accident if you had had a car. Which would you rather have done?
whileyone 0
one...you dont reapair a totaled car number 35...and also how do u total a truck on a car unless u hve a quarter ton?
zakkyzebra 11
53, it was at night and a hidden black person was holding the cat. that's an extra 50.
CodingSquirrel 3
@35 and 44, I don't think that word means what you think it means. @ OP, like others said, you're supposed to just hit the animal. That way you don't risk your life by hitting someone else or driving off the road (which you did).
jpest17 5
if you swerve or stop u could pile up, or what you did.
The_Big_Mac 7
op: Never swerve for an animal, ever. tho the person who said you can't fix a totaled vehicle, yes yes you can you get a salvaged title and totaled is overused in that aspect because a car worth $1000 that hits a tree but is still drivable my have $1000 damage on it, in which case it's totaled out by insurance as a loss to them. all you do to save it is buy back from the insurance company and you get a salvage title
Quidikic 9
Funniest comment ever #1
trojanmennis 0
dueshbag
Airch 9
Least he can spell?
FFML_314 12
duesh? Are you serious?
InDenial 6
Dueshbag? And don't give us that 'I'm typing really fast on my iPod, sorry guys' crap. I'm using my iPhone an I'm spelling like a normal person.
fishertruck 0
Trojan seems to be from A) The ghetto. B) A country so foreign he fails at English. Or C) He's highly inteligent and doesn't want anyone to find out.
FFML_314 12
Inteligent?
InDenial 6
I guess 13 wants the whole world to know how 'Inteligent' he really is.
AlyWallyy 0
#14 ur a real bitch no joke. it's onefuking mistake, and ur pointing it out. 14 your whole life is a mistake. and he prbably spelled it as duesh because he might not be comfortable with douche.
natas_fml 13
pahahahaha well I guess you told him.
theretardedsquar 0
retard.
InDenial 6
Yeah thanks pendatik didn't see that one there and I can't use that 'I'm using my iPhone' excuse this time. :D
MetalFish 0
This Grammar Nazism has gotten WAY out of hand now, remember that time when people were allowed to make mistakes? Good times, when people had better things to worry about other than someone accidentally misspelling something on an internet forum.
login6437 0
Mistake? Who makes mistakes aymore?
FrightNiteOwl 0
nice one.
perdix 31
It happened so slowly that the kitten matured into a cat during the swerve?
failblorg 0
ahahaha those damn trucks it's like an obese car, they don't do fast.
Kaiden2554 3
Today, some dumbass ran over my cat then ****** up the back of my car. FML
mrahhhhh 21
See people, this is why you gotta stop masturbating!! :p
jakii_ 0
4 speaks from experience
Lolelephant 0
Don't we all?
mrahhhhh 21
#23: Everytime you **********, God kills a kitten. Remember? So clearly if someone in the world hadn't masturbated, that cat would still be around.
perdix 31
Did the swerve take such a long time that the kitten matured in a cat?
Dragons_corner 6
are you joking or did not read t through? kitten is a baby cat. cat is refereed to be adult. they missed the kitten and hit the cat. they avoided the baby but the adult.
FFML_314 12
Oh wow. No, the OP said "the cat" meaning the cat that was previously mentioned. Perdix, I was wondering the very same thing. LOL
jakii_ 0
oohh. i had to read this twice. i thought there were two cats on the road >.<
xxniteskie 1
This FML didn't confuse me until I read this comment... and then I sat with a "O.o" face and wondered the same thing...
slappygecko 21
lmao
LexSwift 17
27- I did the same thing. lolol.
Invasion976 6
Hear that #10? That's the joke flying over your head.
VowelMovement 15
Why is your comment exactly like #3?
wanted4myeyez 7
i feel u!!! next time I'm gonna hit the dog!!!
InDenial 6
Next time you spell like that, I'm going to hit you.
elsnappypickle 0
I see ur boner
strikeeagle 3
boner, thats nastyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ewwwwwwww gayyyyyyyyy and put a shirt on u ****
Fatalally 4
WTF who looks down there???
NitroTonicsFML 4
Score!
crobcrob 1
I hope you have learnt to make sure you just kill the cat in the first place. In the UK if you swerve to avoid hitting an animal during your driving test you get failed.
Augustanna 5
You should've just aimed for the cat. It would've been much cheaper to wash your car than paying to fix two
Xavi89 0
haha. this comment wins!!!
Chibicase 19
pretty sure op wasn't worried about washing blood off the car when they swerved to avoid the kitten -_-
FYLDeep 26
Always hit the animal. It's safer and will do less damage to your vehicle 9 times out of 10. Especially a cat, but it's still the better way to go even for a deer.
hattiehansen 0
agreed