Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my cat to the vet for a regular check-up. In the waiting room, she escaped from her carrier and created chaos, knocking over supplies, and hissing at everyone. FML
Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML
Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML
Today, I was walking my husky when she saw a cat and bolted toward it. I couldn't let go of the leash because my hand was tangled up. Forced to run along, I ran into a parked van at full sprint. I lost my dog, broke two ribs and have to pay for the dent in the van. FML
Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML
Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML
Today, I had to put my cat to sleep after she was in an accident. While I was crying hysterically, the vet asked me for $230. FML
Today, I called a cab to get me and my cat home from the vet. After a 40 minute wait and three calls to the taxi company, the operator told me that the driver she sent to my location just confirmed that he already has a woman with my name and a cat in his car. FML
Today, my cat got outside and had the bright idea to walk in the middle of the road, right as a car was coming. The driver didn't notice him, so I had to sprint over there, leap into the road, and toss my cat to safety. He's fine, aside from being soaked (he landed in a puddle), but I've felt better. FML
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Top comments
zandalee 20
Very smart cat... Managed to not only get out of going to the vet, he punished you for trying to take him OP.
Indatshirt 15
This is why we can't have nice things
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Comments (69)
chaseb95 12
They make cat locks now I recommend you invest in one
brand125 17
cat locks?
aruam365 24
I've never heard of cat locks, but I think your cat may be James Bond.
mmcewen 15
Or Houdini
Indatshirt 15
This is why we can't have nice things
desoxyn242 14
OP Should simply learn how to trim his cats claws....it's so EZ
raphanne_fml 33
Yeah, right, try to trim my cat's claws and he'll crucify you.
desoxyn242 14
I'm good at it. Best part is when your done no more scratches!
SkinYouAlive 9
My cats never scratch me but I still clip their nails so they don't damage the couch. They don't really mind it.
TrippingOnAcid 29
Cats are so brilliantly evil
Almost_Positive 18
And so brilliantly cute! When they're not mauling you, at least
zandalee 20
Very smart cat... Managed to not only get out of going to the vet, he punished you for trying to take him OP.
Arwen_Evenstar 37
That cat sure has it sussed. Wonder if OP will have the guts to try again - the cat may just succeed in murder next time. Although. It's an owner's responsibility to care for a pet, so unless her cat is a genius or developed opposable thumbs, I kind of think she should have bought a better quality carrier. So, she may have slightly deserved it.
junkman6 22
Cats are devious beasts they can learn to open most cages. You gotta lock them in. Well at least that's my experience with cats.
Arwen_Evenstar 37
Here you can get carriers where you have to squeeze parts together to open it. Seems pretty cat proof. Various types of hard to open catches, some you can padlock. I'd assume the standard flick a small catch around would be able to be figured out.
junkman6 22
My old cats and my mothers new cats can work at the squeezey bits and open the squeeze to open cages. We had to buy a lock that held the squeezey bits apart.
football98_fml 20
What a catastrophe
GEFStryker 29
Thank you for posting that subtly and not quoting, highlighting or capitalizing your pun. It annoys me to no end when people do that, because all I can imagine is them sitting there thinking "This pun is so clever, I should emphasize it in some way or all those idiots are going to miss it".
adamzki1999 16
Yes, that would of been a "catastrophe"
Respect101 17
It always seems like dogs/cats know when they are going to the vet. They always act totally different in the vehicle. A couple weeks ago, I had to take my dog to the vet to get his nuts cut off and while I was driving he managed to throw my truck into neutral while going down the highway.. luckily I like to go 80 and was ahead of everyone and didn't get into a wreck. Plus throwing your car into neutral while driving is not good for it.
SoulHunter36 16
It's not necessarily bad for a car to be put in neutral while driving. Disengaging the clutch essentially puts your car in neutral. However it should be near impossible to put the car in neutral while the throttle is on unless you apply stupid amounts of force into it. So either you have a ridiculously strong dog, was lifting off the throttle or your gearbox is just getting old. Also engaging neutral while the clutch is engaged isn't harmful either. It's when you attempt to put it into gear without disengaging the clutch is when it could potentially be harmful.
Respect101 17
when my dog jumped towards me I instinctively moved my feet and I let off the gas and he pushed it forward from drive into neutral. And it's not good to have your car thrown into neutral while on the highway, maybe not bad for your car, but it deccelerates your car extremely quickly and could cause an accident.
Arwen_Evenstar 37
9, remember he almost certainly drives an auto. They barely have any manual cars over there.
Respect101 17
we have plenty of standards, are you smoking something? Just because my car so happens to be an automatic. My previous car was a standard. Nobody bothers to learn to drive a standard over and it annoys the Piss out of me.
Respect101 17
over here* sorry
SoulHunter36 16
It doesn't decelerate a car too quickly. Having a car in gear while slowing down decelerates the car much quicker than when it's in neutral. Also as long as the person behind has a 2-8 second gap (depending on weather conditions) you should be ok. That being said though people rarely keep that gap. That's one of my biggest pet peeves.
Respect101 17
Yeah I have to agree on the gap part. But I was good because since I was going fast it gave me more time to put my truck back into drive and out of neutral.
ChaCerCam 14
sounds like he's the purrfect cat!
junkman6 22
More proof that cats are actually pure evil wrapped in fur and claws. And for some reason I still love cats -_-
Silverien 4
They lured us in with cuteness.
Nessco 36
Always deserve it when pet cats are involved.
jelly_bennett 23
Never heard of a cat howling..
football98_fml 20
Well now you have
jagma_fml 14
i suppose "yowling" could be more accurate, but that doesn't really change the story, right?