Today, to anyone else who thinks court can be weird, I say this: I just had to testify in court about my penis because it was relevant to the case. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, my tampon leaked right before I had to go to court. I'm the plaintiff and I work for my city, and blood stains isn't a good look. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who is divorced from my mother, has set up a lawsuit against her and that I am required to go to court and testify against her as a witness. I've tried to keep neutral for six years, and I'll go to jail if I don't show up. FML
Today, I went to court because I got a traffic ticket for running a red light. While I was in court, I found out it was actually for a car I had sold years ago. FML
Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML
Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML
Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML
Today, I found out that I have to appear in juvenile court because I refused to go visit my dad, even though it was court ordered. FML
Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML
Today, I found out that on Wednesday, when I have 2 exams, I'm called to testify in court. If I go to court, I cannot make the exams. If I take the exams, I'll be held in contempt and arrested. FML
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Top comments
Linda Graber 12
Is that you Bill?
Chazzster 32
To be honest that makes you sound like you’re the defendant in a rape or abuse trial.
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Comments (4)
Linda Graber 12
Is that you Bill?
Yudith 28
As long as you didn't have to testify by grabbing your testes with your hand because it was somehow relevant to the case.
Chazzster 32
To be honest that makes you sound like you’re the defendant in a rape or abuse trial.
tiptoppc 21
Even if they are, false accusations are in fact known to exist as revenge. So it would, and if anyone wants to lambast me on this statement, kids have ruined a few teachers lives with it because they got bad grades. One went so far as to upload and use A.I. to generate fake videos of theirs and created a nightmare for them before it was found out to be faked. A.I. is only going to make things worse. Secondly, divorce cases in at-fault divorces sadly still can include accusations, as well as medical malpractice. One of which i sat in one that documented how a male can no longer have sex after a routine surgery on his leg ended up with partial castration and complete nerve damage. Other times, police have been known to be lazy and when few details emerge in a rape case, they grab anyone they think they can pin it on. And police lie on stand all the time