Today, I mentioned to my mum that one of my friends is pregnant. She decided I was lying, that I'm the one who's actually pregnant, and that I'm going to get checked out by a doctor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML
Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML
Today, I discovered that my best friend has been telling everyone at our workplace that I'm faking my pregnancy for attention. She was at every single one of my ultrasounds. FML
Today, my half-sister lied and told my mom I got a girl at school pregnant. My mom is unreasonable at the best of times, but after a full hour trying to get me to name this nonexistent girl, she's calling every parent from school to check if their daughters are hiding a secret pregnancy. FML
Today, I threw up when I woke up, feeling quite ill, I told my mum. She instantly thought I was pregnant. I'm still a virgin and she doesn't believe me. FML
Today, my mum went and told everyone she only went to the doctor after being ill because my brother told her to. It was me who'd been telling her for weeks to go. FML
Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML
Today, the local gossip was in line behind me at the shop. She saw me buying pregnancy tests. The good news is that I'm not pregnant. The bad news is that she'll definitely have everyone thinking I am. FML
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Epickitty58 29
I love how much parents trust their kids these days
ComoEsJuan 24
So when's the baby due?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (72)
ComoEsJuan 24
So when's the baby due?
Epickitty58 29
I love how much parents trust their kids these days
Redoxx_fml 22
Maybe the mother should get checked out by a doctor but of a different variety
19990231 29
Maybe the daughter gave the mother a reason not to trust her.
Googolman 29
To be fair, that whole "friend" is usually a lie. It's like, "Hey mom, listen, I have this 'friend' who is pregnant and she's wondering how she should reveal it to her parents..."
captain_mal 19
I have never heard of anyone doing that #49... That's a very strange way to approach it honestly.
iPixiee 23
#52 It's just example, It could also be like : " hey mom, I have this friend that likes a boy but she doesn't know how to talk to him. have any advice?" you get it?
Deku_Cutie 12
#49, do you even HAVE friends or kids? That never happens, ever.
DoomSkuller 28
Typically only actually happens in sitcoms, as far as I've seen.
CaroAurelia 12
I've used that sometimes. Had it used on me before. In fact, once it was actually a girl in my class who was wondering where to get a pregnancy test. (Like I would have known, considering my dismal romantic track record in high school.)
19990231 29
At least you have nothing to fear, right?
tantanpanda 26
the mother's the one wasting money for it. Op can have the satisfaction of telling her "I told you so".
amandalynn84 14
#43..plot twist: She's pregnant.
Roskie 16
43 I can imagine OP's mother blaming her for the waste of money. She might just be ******.
MELKOZAR 27
Congratulations! XD
snowflaky 22
My sister had a friend who did that. She ended up getting kicked out for lying.
igive 29
That makes absolutely no sense to me. "Let's kick out a teenager with nothing to fall back on and no world experience."
smokecloud_ 37
Some parents are crazy and illogical. It's sad, really.
ShadowGenius 12
Should have said you were pregnant so she'd take your friend to the doctor.
UhHuhHoney 20
No wonder you call yourself a genius. ?
Khaleesi_26 30
Aaaaand #9 you missed the joke....
ShadowGenius 12
Not sure what I did to piss you off, but I'm sorry?
skatergal99 17
That's ridiculous, I'd pay to see her face when she finds out its not you.
WaltzingPhanthom 23
-Sigh- Mothers are *******.
Goblin182 27
That's how they got to be mothers.
iPixiee 23
I see what you did there... ;D
uglyheadedbitch 20
Who ****** does that? Your mom is crazy
laaryssa 21
Well that's going to be a great surprise
rayraydayday 15
That's what I was thinking..