Sixth sense
Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML
Top comments
bazookajoey 27
Obviously there was a way...
NotGabe 28
Retest. Pregnancy tests aren't 100% true to their results.
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Comments (187)
laurencarroll 11
Mary? Is that you?
Ashamed_Sister 60
Is this the second comming of Christ? ...on the other hand virginity is very rare among recent college grads.
Ms_ValS 27
Condoms are only 97% effective. And yes they do put that on the box. Your mom has some solid mother's intuition there.
jerzjay 17
Unless you didn't have sex, clearly there's a way for you to be pregnant...Job well done mother, and I guess congratulations!!!
milehigh52 22
condoms are only 97% effective. That's why I use condoms and pull out. Never ejaculate into a woman even with a condom. Just my personal advice.
allyboss78 16
To quote the great Billy Conolly wild horses couldn't pull my arse in the opposite direction at that moment in time.
IDerive 12
I'm sure she will try to refrain from ejaculating into a woman next time... We would hate to see her get another woman pregnant by making that same mistake.
vidala1991 12
Pre-ejaculate also carries sperm. So there is no way to keep a woman completely free of the potential for pregnancy even with condoms and the pull out method. If you don't want to get pregnant only 100% sure way is abstinence. But this is 2015 and people are going to do what they want to do.
Eff_Itt 20
@124, it may not be 100% but you can get damn close! Woman on bc, plus condom, and pulling out. If someone gets pregnant doing all three, that sperm was seriously stubborn and you should be impressed with the future child.
Stevarious 12
@124 you say that as if there was ever a time period in the history of humanity when young humans didn't have lots of sex!
cameosurgeon 16
I don't understand why more young women (who can afford it, or have access to it) aren't on BC. I would never want to leave that responsibility up to the guy.
JustHereToSayYDI 11
That could actually be why she thought there was no way: you can get pregnant on birth control but because you bleed every months you think you're not but because the bleeding isn't a period, it doesn't mean anything.
Angelkisses130 26
Because it ******* sucks. I was on it for cramps and yes it helped my cramps and pimples but I couldn't wear tampons because it inflamed my cervix and tampons were very painful, it can give you an infection, it kills your sex drive and you're always dry no matter what. Not to mention it ***** with your emotions and can cause blood clots among having fertility problems later down the line. So sure, it may be fine for you, but don't assume it's good for every woman. Birth control is great because you won't be having any sex at all with all the side effects it causes
clair_brodie 35
I never had any of those problems....
johhnyboy39 11
But you won't be pregnant
julako 22
good for you then, right?
babygirlprincess 17
sounds like a really bad situation for you.
Xamry14 10
Not necessarily. It's not the end of your life you know.
PANDORUM89 21
depends on your thinking.
bazookajoey 27
Obviously there was a way...
minimuni 7
right how was there no way? I was waiting for op to say he's a dude...
Ashamed_Sister 60
Maybe there was a - secret - will which would explain the way. So please, OP tell us why there was no way.
PegLegRacing 34
Apparently they don't teach how babies are made anymore... Most people understand that when they graduate college
joeyl2008 29
I'm concerned that she was roofied
oreoeater 21
Either she has WAY too much confidence in birth control or she hasn't been paying attention to the angles
confusedAsFuck 34
I'm more interested in how the mother knew (heartburn my ass). I'm thinking she kept going into the toilet after her daughter everyday with a pregnancy test, until one day she got the two striped treasure. An elaborate way to inflate her ago and prove her psychic superpowers. But then again, I've been accused of being too paranoid so..
Xclaina 7
My thoughts exactly ??
kenyrabit 25
Should've been more careful, Toilet seat left overs might be the father . Even if you abstain or have the safest combination of; spermicide-condoms, an IUD, the calendar method, and pulling out, your uterus' main priority is pregnancy. Be wary, ladies.
NotGabe 28
Retest. Pregnancy tests aren't 100% true to their results.
MrsPegg 45
No, but unless OP is undergoing hormone replacement therapy or has a hormone secreting tumor, she's preggo. Still, I'm right there with you- multiple pregnancy tests coming right up!
natesmummy 11
Actually you're more likely to get a false negative than a false positive. So chances are OP is indeed up the duff.
Bowmana 14
False positives are extremely rare, usually only if someone believes they're pregnant (and therefore produce pregnancy hormones) or are on hormone replacement will there be a false positive
isisorchid 16
There are no false positives. Only false negatives. A retest isn't necessary. A doctor will only retest to confirm for medical records.
phaelnb 26
I'm going to elaborate here on #4. Pregnancy tests on which you urinate on are shit, false positives all the way. It's best to go to a doctor/hospital and ask for a pregnancy test, BetaHCG.
VolitairianArrow 17
#102 how dense are you? of course there are false positives, have you not heard of hysterical pregnancies? also, hormonal imbalances can cause a false positive. there are many other reasons for a false positive as well.
NotGabe 28
Thanks for clarifying, #4. That's what I meant. Given that her mother was demanding her to get a pregnancy test, I doubt they waited for a scheduled appointment.
NotGabe 28
^Oops, I meant #110!
militarybrat 21
102. Yeah that is 100% false. Ive had TWO false positives, one blood one urine. Both given by medical professionals. My male friend also had a positive blood pregnancy test. And no he didnt have cancer.
tchatter 7
While it is possible to get a false negative, the chance of a false positive is less than 1%. Sincerely, a NURSE
BananaCoconutty 26
Just give her some Tums, so she'll get better and won't think your pregnant
lexiieeex3 32
That's not how this works...
bab3ruthl3ss 16
I'm not sure you understand what transpired here...
Xx_Slayer_xX 22
If he can't comprehend the FML, I feel as if he may not even know what "Transpired" may mean. Ehh. What do I know though.
MegasaurusRex89 28
If there is literally no way you could be pregnant, you need a doctor asap. That's a serious medical condition. Otherwise, there was /some/ way for it to have happened. Hope all's well whatever the case :)
HrothgarXII 21
That's... rather impressive
Dick_diamond 22
I guess there was a way you could be pregnant..
peacheso 31
Your display picture makes this comment amusing. Your mother had a similar experience huh?
Dick_diamond 22
That she did. And voila..here I am
Storvolleng 28
Hey, i heard of your story! but i must have misheard the name, because it wasn't Dick_Diamond in the story :S
Queen_of_Night 20
In Dick_Diamonds name we pray... Amen.
sarcasmwins 24
Is there a small chance you may be pregnant? One night stand perhaps? I would go get checked OP so you know for sure.
igg125 30
Congratulations