Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I threw up when I woke up, feeling quite ill, I told my mum. She instantly thought I was pregnant. I'm still a virgin and she doesn't believe me. FML
Today, my mom came into my room, yelling at me about a pregnancy test that she found in my bathroom. My mom wouldn't believe me when I said it wasn't mine. Turns out my sister bought the test, threw it under my bathroom cabinet, and now she won't admit to the prank. She thinks this is hilarious. FML
Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML
Today, I mentioned to my mum that one of my friends is pregnant. She decided I was lying, that I'm the one who's actually pregnant, and that I'm going to get checked out by a doctor. FML
Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML
Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period. FML
Today, I went to see a doctor because I have been experiencing hair loss. He insisted on a pregnancy test. My parents then grounded me. I'm a virgin. FML
Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML
Today, a misunderstanding led to me falsely accusing my husband of cheating. We cleared it up and he forgave me and everything, but my parents are still convinced that he cheated, and won't believe me when I say he wasn't. FML
Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML
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Top comments
Capt_Oblivious 10
Abstinence: 99.99% effective.
satanisthesavior 21
Take another test then. And another. Eventually you will prove you're not pregnant.
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Comments (45)
satanisthesavior 21
Take another test then. And another. Eventually you will prove you're not pregnant.
KingDead 18
She shouldn't have to prove anything to begin with haha. Your mother is a loon OP, in a few months when she doesn't see a bump she'll get over it.
lorraineald 7
Or she'll accuse OP of having an abortion.
feelingold 18
Holy sh*t, it's an immaculate conception! God be praised.
Cusefan5 6
You should go to a doctor because those pregnancy tests from the local cvs can be faulty.
Renesaga 8
I don't even understand what you're trying to say. OP is a virgin. Why would she go to a doctor because of a faulty test?
KingDead 18
Clearly they can be faulty. OP is an example of that. The doctor would take blood work, which is obviously more accurate, showing hormones in the blood. But she has no reason if she's not pregnant . Her mom needs to relax.
Ripplez13 9
I'm sorry OP, it sucks that your mom doesn't have more faith in you! Maybe she's been in a similar-ish situation and is jumping to conclusions? Idk. Good luck!
AlexiAwesome 10
Go to the doctor. They can prove you're a virgin & that you're not preggo.
jizzwold 21
They can't really prove if you are a virgin.
tj4234 36
I know I'm going to get thumbed down for this... but were you home schooled?
AlexiAwesome 10
They can tell whether or not your heiman (idk how to spell it) is broken.
theawkwardlife 21
They can't be sure, but they can check if your cherries popped.
flockz 20
17- just because your hymen is broken doesn't mean you're not a virgin.
ilovedinosawers 17
You can get pregnant without your cherry being popped. Some men aren't blessed with a penis over 5 inches.
jizzwold 21
If op had her hymen broken in some way other than sex that would just further the troubles with her mother.
jeepers_1 21
Technically the hiemen doesn't actually break... It just stretches, it might rip a little the first couple times but it'll always be there
feelingold 18
IT'S A HYMEN wow I'm glad I got that off my chest
noreallywhat 17
They canal would prove or disprove sexual activity the hymen is not the sole indicator. How do you think rape kits work, everyone knows they can even tell how long it has been based on healing. Don't you all watch Law and Order?
interesting33 37
True a hymen can be broken in other ways but if it isn't broken then you probably are one so it is worth checking.
WolfGirlRin 12
Some women are born without a hymen. I was and so was a friend of mine. As far as I know, it's not that common.
Capt_Oblivious 10
Abstinence: 99.99% effective.
jackiemora 18
If she has those odds, she should play the lottery.
Marmarfarfar 25
Sure you're a virgin?
da_directioner39 17
Of course she is! What? Are you accusing of of sleep-sexing?
Lizardgirl 7
Go sit in the corner and think about what you said.
lorraineald 7
There is a disease where people have sex in their sleep and then don't remember it when they wake up. I saw it on "My Strange Sex" one day. I don't remember what it's called.
EVnIAS 13
Congrats on the miracle! Our new savior is here! You got to call the media and tell them your story!
fckwhyme 11
i guess sometimes it´s just not good to be "positive"
\ 28
Looks like nature is not on your side.
AlexiAwesome 10
Go to the doctor. They can prove you're a virgin & that you're not preggo.