Today, I mentioned to my mum that one of my friends is pregnant. She decided I was lying, that I'm the one who's actually pregnant, and that I'm going to get checked out by a doctor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML
Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML
Today, I discovered that my best friend has been telling everyone at our workplace that I'm faking my pregnancy for attention. She was at every single one of my ultrasounds. FML
Today, my half-sister lied and told my mom I got a girl at school pregnant. My mom is unreasonable at the best of times, but after a full hour trying to get me to name this nonexistent girl, she's calling every parent from school to check if their daughters are hiding a secret pregnancy. FML
Today, I threw up when I woke up, feeling quite ill, I told my mum. She instantly thought I was pregnant. I'm still a virgin and she doesn't believe me. FML
Today, my mum went and told everyone she only went to the doctor after being ill because my brother told her to. It was me who'd been telling her for weeks to go. FML
Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML
Today, the local gossip was in line behind me at the shop. She saw me buying pregnancy tests. The good news is that I'm not pregnant. The bad news is that she'll definitely have everyone thinking I am. FML
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
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Top comments
Epickitty58 29
I love how much parents trust their kids these days
ComoEsJuan 24
So when's the baby due?
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Comments (72)
feven 32
Damn that escalated faster than an escalator.
The_Bengineer 13
Those things are pretty slow, though
feven 32
Point taken
missambitious 21
At least when you go to the Doctor, he or she will be able to prove that you're not pregnant. Still, I'm really sorry your mom didn't trust you on this. That truly does suck.
cassie6613 3
only problem is that when the results are negative the mom might try to say she just had a pregnancy scare or got a false positive on a home test or something. sometimes it doesn't matter what proof you offer, once the thought is there you can't convince someone otherwise. good luck OP.
Nevrdai 5
That's how you know your mom lied to her parents a lot.
mattrd_fml 31
time to give mtv a call.
rvontr88 21
Whelp... best go buy a pee stick.
amileah13 26
Don't worry about it op, she's the one that's going to look pretty stupid when the results come back negative. Good luck with her!
ThatHorse 15
Unless she gets a false positive... Then she's screwed.
doublechk 3
Epickitty58. Parents shouldn't trust their kids. Kids these days do dumb $hi!!
kittykat_bw13 12
kids these days do dumb shit because adults always expect that of you. expect great things, and there is a possibility of great things. tell somebody they're untrustworthy and shitty enough, they'll believe it them self and act on it.
earthday18 7
wow your mom is the one who needs to get checked
Mossygirl357 12
That's fine. Let your mom take you just so you can prove her wrong.
rockyhorrorQT 12
Well that ovulated quickly. I'm sorry. I'll see myself out.