Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I dreamed that I cheated on my boyfriend. I was so overwhelmed with guilt that I called him while half-asleep to tell him about it and apologize. I'm fully awake now and he doesn't believe it was really a dream. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML
Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML
Today, I was putting the cat outside. He wouldn't go, so I kicked him. Then I woke up to my husband screaming. I’d been dreaming, and the "cat" I kicked was his family jewels. FML
Today, I had a dream where I was fighting a robber who had broken into my house. I was throwing a lot of kicks in the dream, and this apparently resulted in me kicking my feet in real life as well. I figured this out when my cat started attacking my feet, abruptly waking me up at 2AM. FML
Today, I got woken up and kicked out of bed. Apparently if I cheat in her dreams it still counts. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, my boyfriend had a bad dream that a horse was biting his fingers off. He punched the horse in the neck, and in real life punched me in the spine. Twice. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML
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Top comments
AnalAssassin1 14
Laughed more than I should..
nerderer 13
I guess you were kicking two moon balls, not just one.
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Comments (43)
AnalAssassin1 14
Laughed more than I should..
weveallbeenthere 30
so did I
TrivisionZero 4
Why did this guy's reply get so many dislikes? He simply stated that he agreed with the up voted comment...
Coolhwip92 8
That's what the up-vote button is for...
brivielle 15
Kicking the moon eh? Now that's taking "Dream Big" to a whole new level.
Queensland 27
Gggooaalllll!!!!
nerderer 13
I guess you were kicking two moon balls, not just one.
DogeMan 14
The pain is real
qdawg06 23
But imagine if the moon could actually swear?
ahippienamedrae 10
"Quit staring at me with your telescopes, *******!" -the moon
fsomelife 26
It doesn't need to swear. It already expresses all its disgruntledness with us by constantly mooning us.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
21--thank u for that. I needed a laugh.
skittycat213 19
I want to say F his life more than yours. It's natural to spasm in response to a dream, like the classic "falling" dream, but it still sucks if you injure yourself or others
quickit 24
Kiss them better and I'm sure he'll forgive you.
jonlndjns 8
I probably found that funnier than I should have!
Rizzen 27
lol that had to have been interesting
sisco2901 20
You mean interassting, don't you?
Zelphoric 25
Nope I'm pretty sure he meant interesting.
blanchthis 4
interballsting?
iShanny 13
Just stop.
devildog562 33
I guess better to kick a ball, than his balls directly. I feel bad for your boyfriend. Haha this fml was nicely worded.
Anthonymm2 20
The moon isn't made of cheese after all...
LostInTheZone11 29
Apparently it's made of nuts.