Today, I left the sliding glass door to our townhouse open because it was such a beautiful day. Our new puppy, whom we have been potty training, peed in the yard and I praised him relentlessly. He then walked inside the house, pooped on the carpet, and ran back outside. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog and I came in from an afternoon in the back yard and he immediately shat on the carpet. Way to go boy. FML
Today, I let my dog outside so he could pee. After an hour, I let him back in. He just wanted to come inside to pee on the floor. FML
Today, I snuck out of my bedroom to go pee very quickly, so I wouldn't wake up my new puppy who doesn't like being away from me. In the 60 seconds it took me to pee, wash my hands and walk back into the room she had pooped, peed, and left potty-paw-prints all over my bed. FML
Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML
Today, I came downstairs to find that our dog's six puppies, who have their own puppy-door to go outside whenever they want, had peed and pooped all over the floor, walked through the pee, and were now happily chewing on a half-rotten deer's head which they had dragged inside. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
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Top comments
saramarie 0
#3?
WhyAmUHere 19
What?
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Comments (102)
darkmis1 18
#3: huh? And this isn't really a FML-puppies do this all the time-ur not the only 1.
amknmaz 0
You shoudl've sprayed it with cold water , dogs HATE cold water . That's what I did to my pitbull after every time it bit me. Yes I would spray it with really cold water ,till it learned not to ******* bite anyone (:
boomBOOMshake 0
Having the sliding door open may have confused him. If he usually walks to the door and scratches it to show he has to go to the bathroom, he certaintly may have thought that when he walked back inside that he was still outside. But be thankful that he peed outside instead of on the carpet. It would have stained.
twilax101 0
Ahahaha. But how is this an FML? Hrm... yeah i agree with pretty much everyone. #3 = EPIC FAILL.
callummm 0
Just so you know, dogs rarely differentiate between indoors and out in a case such as this if the door is left open..
twilighter_644 0
we're getting a dog soon and we live in an apartment hopefully it doesnt crap inside and fall off the balcony
Kitty34_fml 0
That's unfortunate, but he doesn't know any better. My dog pees on the garage floor on the way to the backyard. Oh well.
lotlux29 0
stupidity.
crunkk426 0
this fml sucks.
ronca 0
LMAO at #12. I think #3 is for this FML a little ways down: Today, I heard the lawnmower running. I quickly jumped out of bed to walk my dog and see the cute lawn guy. I flirted for ten minutes and he was smiling the whole time. Back inside I saw I had UNDER 21 written backwards three places on my face from the stamp on my hand from the bar last night. FML