Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML
Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML
Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, my morning started off by stepping in my dog's piss by the door. Then, stepping in my husband's piss by the toilet. FML
Today, after weeks of looking for the source of an awful smell in our house, I found out our dog has been climbing over our loft banister, into the attic, and shitting. There were over twenty mounds. It took me almost four hours to clean up, and it still stinks. FML
Today, I left the sliding glass door to our townhouse open because it was such a beautiful day. Our new puppy, whom we have been potty training, peed in the yard and I praised him relentlessly. He then walked inside the house, pooped on the carpet, and ran back outside. FML
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML
Today, my dog and I came in from an afternoon in the back yard and he immediately shat on the carpet. Way to go boy. FML
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Top comments
ihartmytdi 23
It's always a great day when you learn a new trick with your dick!
_kyleG_ 34
Sounds like urine trouble then!
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Comments (37)
19990231 29
was your dog to young be house trained? Either way, break out the baking soda asap.
LastResort318 14
I'm going to be that guy. Too*
ILikeKoalas 24
Time to start the dog training
stryder9090 28
Dang! That happens to me all the time when I see a spider...he must've seen a spider. Stupid spiders. Scary spiders.
I_Like_Dogs 28
So you runs and pees simultaneously every time you see a spider? That's odd.
Vintage_Cola 29
Ugh. You don't seem to realize that when you're scared, you trigger the fight or flight response, which shoots adrenaline into your arteries, causing increased blood flow, heart rate, and muscle contractions. So, unless you have some medical condition I don't know about, you can't take a piss when you run away from a totally harmless spider. I call shenanigans!
DaTunaMahn 6
It was just a joke you don't have to take it so seriously damn
stryder9090 28
At least a couple people have a sense of humor.
guii_fml 24
FYL indeed
Isandri 29
happened to my friend's old dog :(
ihartmytdi 23
It's always a great day when you learn a new trick with your dick!
youngmessi252525 20
I taught him well
conflictedebola 20
What kind of dog is he? I had a German Shepard (a breed known for bladder/urinary tract issues) who would pee all over himself when he got excited. I once came home after visiting my friend for a couple days and when I got out of the car he ran at me, peeing the whole time, before giving me a giant (wet) German Shepard hug. (I miss you Max, best dog)
_kyleG_ 34
Sounds like urine trouble then!
jackthekeeper 24
I can too, is that a problem?