ItHurtsLIkeHell
Malaysia
Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Roselyn Cazares
Today, I was petting my female hamster when I felt a big mass under her. I immediately thought it was a tumor so I poked it to see if it hurt her. It didn't. Turns out my female hamster is actually a male, and he has really big balls. I touched my hamster's balls. FML
whymommywhy
United States
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
zac545
United States
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
roze198765
United States
Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML
EpicFail
United States
Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML
Anonymous
Poor little guy
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
Anonymous
United States
So…
Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and have to explain to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML
deadhamster
United States
Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML
HttpsHaileyy
United States
Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML
Top comments
RedTriceratops 0
But I don't have testicles.
cabbitt 0
I hope you learned to look where you sit.
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Comments (297)
sparxva 12
After the word about the Richard Gere experience got around the hamsters aren't taking any chances.
amiemariej 0
"learnt" is the British used form of the american "learned". so who's the dummy now?
nnhoang 0
Idiot Americans can't get it though their thick skulls that there's another English that non-Americans use. For the Americans that do know about the other English, kudos to you. :D
asteroth 8
I wish I could learn other Englishes. I was taught the American one. :(
edgeofhysteria 0
nicely said. *applauds*
idkweird 0
The Streets has a wonderful song about this. "Two Nations Divided" "Two nations divided by a common language And about two hundred years of new songs and dances But the difference is language, and just the bits you got wrong 'Cause we were the ones who invented the language" Also, I'd like to point out the truth in that. Our language developed from UK English. Therefore, it is ridiculous to tell them that their tenses of verbs are wrong.
zippit09 0
^ Thank you! Glad somebody realised what was going on rather than blindly yelling out whatever it is they happen to believe is true.
mmmazingmary 0
who cares it he walks around naked? so do i
asteroth 8
For this, Humanity is thankful.
blitzen123 0
I do too. Nothing wrong with it.
blitzen123 0
I do as well. There is nothing wrong with that.
blitzen123 0
Mmkay, said there was an error on first post. =/
Freeze_fml 17
Jackpot.
edgeofhysteria 0
Oh yes, you didn't kill your hamster, he just bit you. FYL.
twistedavalon06 0
fake
GAYbrial 0
Why is everyone saying the op was naked? No where in the fml post does he say he is naked. He could have been wearing gym shorts or something which the hamster could have bitten through.
orangesodaftw 0
This sounds kinky.
PiratesvNinjas 0
Oh, poor you, instead of crushing the hamster, both hurting and killing it, you got a little bit of pain. Man up.
gnomeyy 0
hahahahahahahahah