ItHurtsLIkeHell
Malaysia
Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Roselyn Cazares
Today, I was petting my female hamster when I felt a big mass under her. I immediately thought it was a tumor so I poked it to see if it hurt her. It didn't. Turns out my female hamster is actually a male, and he has really big balls. I touched my hamster's balls. FML
whymommywhy
United States
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
zac545
United States
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
roze198765
United States
Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML
EpicFail
United States
Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML
Anonymous
Poor little guy
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
Anonymous
United States
So…
Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and have to explain to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML
deadhamster
United States
Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML
HttpsHaileyy
United States
Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML
Top comments
RedTriceratops 0
But I don't have testicles.
cabbitt 0
I hope you learned to look where you sit.
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Comments (297)
Houndourpup 0
This made me laugh
lethalwippin22 0
learn how to spell.
arvind0602 1
ok then....
howmanysyllables 0
i read this as "hammer", much funnier.
suzieq181218 0
What else did you learnt? Because you obviously didn't learn how to spell.
ayjayyuk 0
you liked it didnt you . . . you sicken me
theeBeezWaXx 0
how in thee ...? why in thee f*** would you even sit on it.? attempt to kill it.?
ggallegos13 2
Watch where you sit down...? Geeze the stupidity of people really bugs me sometimes. YDI so much
Ttime21921 0
did fml stop editing? learnt? LEARNED, Captain Word Choice.
zippit09 0
Actually let out a snigger at the number of people failing to be spelling Nazis. "Learnt" is fine; maybe it isn't the most common form in your country, but does that make you experts? No. So get it right before you whine.