ItHurtsLIkeHell
Malaysia
Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Roselyn Cazares
Today, I was petting my female hamster when I felt a big mass under her. I immediately thought it was a tumor so I poked it to see if it hurt her. It didn't. Turns out my female hamster is actually a male, and he has really big balls. I touched my hamster's balls. FML
whymommywhy
United States
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
zac545
United States
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
roze198765
United States
Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML
EpicFail
United States
Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML
Anonymous
Poor little guy
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
Anonymous
United States
So…
Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and have to explain to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML
deadhamster
United States
Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML
HttpsHaileyy
United States
Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML
Top comments
RedTriceratops 0
But I don't have testicles.
cabbitt 0
I hope you learned to look where you sit.
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Comments (297)
ghostwitch1863 0
that's the stupidest thing I have heard in awhile. idiot.
sterrizzill 0
fight on little hamster!!
asteroth 8
Today I LEARNED that there is only one species of wild hamster left in the world. I also LEARNED that a past participle ending in "t" usually goes at the end of a sentence. I also LEARNED that you are a living grammar fail.
olw25 0
it bit u because u think LEARNT is a word.
PiratesvNinjas 0
Learnt IS a word. It's proper English, something Americans don't understand. Oh, and it's "you" not "u"
kev08326 1
if you were speaking to me in person and said learnt I would punch you in the face
sandwichhater 0
poor little thing =( imagie it hadn't bitten you!!! so be glad
masterblaster39 0
Today I LEARNED that KEV08326 wasted his money on anger management classes and OP is getting to know his hamster very well!
PiratesvNinjas 0
Today, I LEARNT that 41 is stupid.
asteroth 8
Today, I LEARNED that 68 can't think of a comeback to save his life.
PiratesvNinjas 0
Today, I LEARNT that either 71 is gender confused, or I am awesome. MLIA
PiratesvNinjas 0
I'm a girl x3
asteroth 8
Not on the Internet you aren't.
madskillz3088 0
that sucks for the hamster... I hope u at least had peanut butter on your balls first
perdix 31
I used to have hamsters when I was a kid. They looked sooooooo cute when they stored huge amounts of food in their furry, little cheeks! I'll bet it's not so goddam cute when it's your balls stuffing those cheeks! Although the image of a walking scrotum with beady eyes is hilarious to the rest of the world!
idkweird 0
I never had hamsters. I had a pet rat. Well, two over the years. Neither of them ever bit me. Sweetest freaking pets in the world :)
S0biTeMe 4
What is a hamster?
perdix 31
I forget, but I remember it smelt of elderberries. Now, go away or I shall taunt you a second time!
ScaryyMary 14
What happened to my comment? D: WAH!
QueenPersephone 9
What is your name? What is your quest? What is your favorite color!? ....What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
mcme 0
Well what do you mean? An African or a Europeon swallow?
asteroth 8
I also LEARNED that what looks a past participle is usually an adjective z.B. "spilt milk" not "I spilt my milk."
zippit09 0
Well done, you spotted another past participle that can be acceptably spelled (or spelt, if you prefer) with a T. Maybe not where you're from, but over here where we invented the language, its fine. Seriously people just google a dictionary site, they all say "past participle" right there :S