Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was petting my female hamster when I felt a big mass under her. I immediately thought it was a tumor so I poked it to see if it hurt her. It didn't. Turns out my female hamster is actually a male, and he has really big balls. I touched my hamster's balls. FML
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML
Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML
Poor little guy
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
So…
Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and have to explain to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML
Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML
Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML
Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML
Top comments
RedTriceratops 0
But I don't have testicles.
cabbitt 0
I hope you learned to look where you sit.
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Comments (297)
Foxy_On_Fire 21
hahahahahahahaha that had to hurt.
alice_wt 0
and why won't everyone shut up already about the grammar. I also thought "learnt" was wrong, and its also underlined red from the grammar checking tool, but whatever. if it's the british way, then so be it
DzNutz619 0
surprise
hailphire130 0
what's with all the ydi? he said accidentally, which means he wasn't necessarily bein an idiot. I hav a hamster and they run everywhere so it's hard to keep an eye on them sometimes
pendulum2012 0
All of your comments are so angry, do they have Midol in Canada?
dannthemannxx 0
ydi for animal crueltyyyy.
MasterConan 0
'lernt' is not a ******* word! u dumb shit!
redbluegreen 41
"Lernt" most certainly is not a word. "Learnt" is, actually. Look it up, as many others have provided links. We're just beating a dead horse at this point.
exathiest 0
don't start it again..
jessxoxo28 5
oh god, lmaoo
hedgehogs 0
Good one, hamster.
gandhikip 0
the hamster should be writing this fml story, not you...