Today, I learned to never blast classic rock with your convertible's top down while passing an SUV full of gangbanger wanna-bes. That is, of course, unless you want your immaculate, newly detailed leather seats to be decorated with pretty brown and white milkshake stains. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML
Today, I gave my new boss a ride, since his car died. I probably should have checked the music before I started the car; I'm not sure hearing "Grandpa pissed his pants again…" as the opener to a song made a good impression on him. FML
Today, I was stoked to show my new car to my friends that I pulled into the parking lot a bit too fast, attempting to look cool. I accidentally hit the curb and ended up scratching the entire front bumper on a trash can that I didn't see. Now I have a busted up bumper, and my friends will probably never let me forget it. FML
Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML
Today, I was in my car and stopped at a red light. A homeless woman then started to throw rocks at my car for no apparent reason. I drive a convertible. FML
Today, I got caught singing '80s hair metal love ballads to myself in the car by the object of my affection. FML
Today, I learned that if you're going to light a bottle rocket and throw it out the window of a car, you should roll the window down before you light the bottle rocket. FML
Today, while I was reluctantly driving to work on a Sunday, some guy in a shiny Audi threw a plastic root beer bottle full of urine at my old Toyota. He didn’t even bother to put on the cap on, like a gentleman would. FML
Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML
Today, I was hanging in the street with the boys, listening to some jams on my car's new speaker system. Some asshole from the apartments above me threw a bag of trash at my car. Direct hit. FML
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Top comments
Aelaena 6
Wow assholes. I hate people like that, I hope you got a license yet that probably wouldn't do much.
zmiddz 0
Gangbangers drink milkshakes?
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Comments (243)
MetalProphet 0
I would have gotten out and beaten the living shit out of all of them.
star_ver 0
Lmao @ 105 Okay Superman, and when your dumb ass jumps out the car and they drive away, you'd be left there with a ****** up car looking like an idiot. Net wannabe toughguys FTL.
choppedNskrewed 0
22: No, gangbangers does not mean something else in America. When I read it I thought "Huh. Gangbangers must mean something else in a different country." I guess not! Haha, OP must have thought it meant something else. :D
john32190 0
Some of you sound like you're 80 years old. "You kids and your loud music." It's his car, he can listen to music at whatever volume he wants.
lifeislife_fml 0
#81/#98: I like how you didn't notice that #79 said NAGGERS and not the other word. Great job at failing to read the whole comment and then going on a hate tirade.
emorockerownage 9
9# agreed
tje210_fml 0
that's why you carry a gun in your car. give them a scare and a couple flat tires. or carry some heavy objects and put dents in their shit. i mean really . . . if you think you're cool enough to blast classic rock, have the testicles to stand up for it.
brasileirinha 0
What? lmao
lifesucks5 0
Rap crap sucks, long live the classics and blast it as much as you freaking want.
dg72592_fml 0
whyyy were you blasting classic rock. not to hate on it but there's just really no reason to be blasting rock music