Today, I learned to never blast classic rock with your convertible's top down while passing an SUV full of gangbanger wanna-bes. That is, of course, unless you want your immaculate, newly detailed leather seats to be decorated with pretty brown and white milkshake stains. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML
Today, I gave my new boss a ride, since his car died. I probably should have checked the music before I started the car; I'm not sure hearing "Grandpa pissed his pants again…" as the opener to a song made a good impression on him. FML
Today, I was stoked to show my new car to my friends that I pulled into the parking lot a bit too fast, attempting to look cool. I accidentally hit the curb and ended up scratching the entire front bumper on a trash can that I didn't see. Now I have a busted up bumper, and my friends will probably never let me forget it. FML
Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML
Today, I was in my car and stopped at a red light. A homeless woman then started to throw rocks at my car for no apparent reason. I drive a convertible. FML
Today, I got caught singing '80s hair metal love ballads to myself in the car by the object of my affection. FML
Today, I learned that if you're going to light a bottle rocket and throw it out the window of a car, you should roll the window down before you light the bottle rocket. FML
Today, while I was reluctantly driving to work on a Sunday, some guy in a shiny Audi threw a plastic root beer bottle full of urine at my old Toyota. He didn’t even bother to put on the cap on, like a gentleman would. FML
Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML
Today, I was hanging in the street with the boys, listening to some jams on my car's new speaker system. Some asshole from the apartments above me threw a bag of trash at my car. Direct hit. FML
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Top comments
Aelaena 6
Wow assholes. I hate people like that, I hope you got a license yet that probably wouldn't do much.
zmiddz 0
Gangbangers drink milkshakes?
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Comments (243)
mike_i_am 0
OP: Don't lie.. you were ACTUALLY listening to "Milkshake" by Kelis and deserved it. Now that would be an immaculate FML :D
briana83 0
maybe they didn't like your mullet
2embarassd2speak 0
That sucks. You should call the cops.
Jman1906 2
If I was you I would have shown them how "Mr. Baseball Bat" works.
turnedoffTVgrey 0
My favorite is when people drive around blasting country music. Completely opposite of being cool.
mmudd 4
**** N*GGERS *=a, racists.
justinsbaby291 0
get their license plate and sue them...or tell the cops. that is destruction of private property...
ohhhhshizzz 0
mmudd: Hey sit down little boy. I know you are probably young, and mommy isn't home so you can say a lot of bad words now. But really, it isn't cute. And hey, wouldn't it be funny if those boys were white? SHUT THE HELL UP, and stop hiding behind your computer. Stupid nerd with no life. Seriously, might as well go off yourself. You are populating the world with your RACISIM & ASSHATEDNESS. **** YOU!
Rooskie 0
I don't see a problem with blasting music in your own car. Why does everyone think that's some kind of federal offense. He's technically doing it in his own private space. If you don't like it you have the right to close you're own window or turn your music up. Honestly what's so annoying about the 7 seconds you have to listen to his music while he passes you or while you're stuck at a stoplight. God forbid you should be exposed to someone's tastes.
perfectwinds 0
46- LMAO! When I read 44 that SAME song came to mind! =P You can't NOT blast Bon Jovi. Or Journey! =P You have to blast Small Town Girl, too. And if you've ever ridden in a convertible then you know that you have to blast music to actually HEAR it over the wind.