Today, I learned to never blast classic rock with your convertible's top down while passing an SUV full of gangbanger wanna-bes. That is, of course, unless you want your immaculate, newly detailed leather seats to be decorated with pretty brown and white milkshake stains. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML
Today, I gave my new boss a ride, since his car died. I probably should have checked the music before I started the car; I'm not sure hearing "Grandpa pissed his pants again…" as the opener to a song made a good impression on him. FML
Today, I was stoked to show my new car to my friends that I pulled into the parking lot a bit too fast, attempting to look cool. I accidentally hit the curb and ended up scratching the entire front bumper on a trash can that I didn't see. Now I have a busted up bumper, and my friends will probably never let me forget it. FML
Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML
Today, I was in my car and stopped at a red light. A homeless woman then started to throw rocks at my car for no apparent reason. I drive a convertible. FML
Today, I got caught singing '80s hair metal love ballads to myself in the car by the object of my affection. FML
Today, I learned that if you're going to light a bottle rocket and throw it out the window of a car, you should roll the window down before you light the bottle rocket. FML
Today, while I was reluctantly driving to work on a Sunday, some guy in a shiny Audi threw a plastic root beer bottle full of urine at my old Toyota. He didn’t even bother to put on the cap on, like a gentleman would. FML
Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML
Today, I was hanging in the street with the boys, listening to some jams on my car's new speaker system. Some asshole from the apartments above me threw a bag of trash at my car. Direct hit. FML
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Top comments
Aelaena 6
Wow assholes. I hate people like that, I hope you got a license yet that probably wouldn't do much.
zmiddz 0
Gangbangers drink milkshakes?
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Comments (243)
organismal 0
my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard okay, i love classic rock. but no one should blast their music with the windows/convertible top open. it annoys other people who dont' have the same interest in music. be more courteous- just close the top or lower the volume. you're being very inconsiderate otherwise. you wouldn't want people blasting rap with their windows open, would you?
Random_Idiot 0
what dicks...
Theos_fml 0
We have jerks like that in our school. Was it a black escalade by any chance? They are quite popular with the spoiled ones.
csdthegreat 0
I say both. I absolutely hate people who blast music (I ranted about it over IM a few days ago, in fact, and joked about a game where you destroy the world by blasting music. For anyone interested, you upgrade volume controls, speakers, bass, music, etc. to destroy houses and make people explode. You also upgrade a weapon you use to keep people who happen to have earplugs nearby away from the volume controls. Fun game, huh? :D Okay back to comment.). The volume and vibrations make my carsickness ten times worse, and my carsickness if already ten times worse because of my other health problems. No one likes it when people do that. It's selfish behavior and I hope everyone who does it will destroy their ears. Still, they could've just yelled at you to turn the volume down. Sounds like a big, sticky mess that has to violate a few laws. Throwing a milkshake is going too far... a handful of water would've been enough! :P
nuga 0
Ironically, the music they blast is probably 10 times crappier than yours too. Inconsiderate jerks.
ohiostatejeff 0
Music makes you car sick??? Anyways... shoulda shot them! Kidding, but I hate white wannabe gangstas.
slash1396 0
**** those bitches rock ftw! you shoulda beat theyre pussy little asses for pullin that shit on you get theyre license plate and **** them up with fines props to you if you do man
lawlkat 0
FYL, next time carry a a firearm on your person, It'll make a difference, and next time play something heavier.
member0987654321 0
that sucks. and they really suck for not accepting people with different opinions, tastes and lifestyles, and for not appreciating diversity. by only accepting their points of view and no one else's, they are terribly ignorant. in the grand scheme of things, and in everyday life, they lose. and i like the way you wrote that fml, although i can't think of a word for it, it's different.
failboatrollover 1
just ROFL at #11