Today, I learned to never blast classic rock with your convertible's top down while passing an SUV full of gangbanger wanna-bes. That is, of course, unless you want your immaculate, newly detailed leather seats to be decorated with pretty brown and white milkshake stains. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML
Today, I gave my new boss a ride, since his car died. I probably should have checked the music before I started the car; I'm not sure hearing "Grandpa pissed his pants again…" as the opener to a song made a good impression on him. FML
Today, I was stoked to show my new car to my friends that I pulled into the parking lot a bit too fast, attempting to look cool. I accidentally hit the curb and ended up scratching the entire front bumper on a trash can that I didn't see. Now I have a busted up bumper, and my friends will probably never let me forget it. FML
Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML
Today, I was in my car and stopped at a red light. A homeless woman then started to throw rocks at my car for no apparent reason. I drive a convertible. FML
Today, I got caught singing '80s hair metal love ballads to myself in the car by the object of my affection. FML
Today, I learned that if you're going to light a bottle rocket and throw it out the window of a car, you should roll the window down before you light the bottle rocket. FML
Today, while I was reluctantly driving to work on a Sunday, some guy in a shiny Audi threw a plastic root beer bottle full of urine at my old Toyota. He didn’t even bother to put on the cap on, like a gentleman would. FML
Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML
Today, I was hanging in the street with the boys, listening to some jams on my car's new speaker system. Some asshole from the apartments above me threw a bag of trash at my car. Direct hit. FML
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Top comments
Aelaena 6
Wow assholes. I hate people like that, I hope you got a license yet that probably wouldn't do much.
zmiddz 0
Gangbangers drink milkshakes?
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Comments (243)
GrapefruitZoe 0
No, why do people think it's acceptable and correct to harm other people or their property? That's incorrect!
xOblivion 0
Where do people learn respect ? It's like they DON'T learn it !
Faced159 0
You should have beaten their asses.
fmylifedotcomm 0
yo yo yo YDI 4 blastin dat shizz ^that was me trying to be ghetto. lol FAIL. but really, that sucks. though i do find it funny that they threw milkshakes at you...
ritalinboy 1
see what you should have done was the second u noticed they were white gangsters you should have FLOORED YOUR ASS away from their slow as hell SUV
hitherestranger 0
you sound kinda smug, so i want to say you deserve it, but that was pretty ridiculous what they did. maybe you should stop caring so much about a car?
potatopeeler 0
Never blast any music, you inconsiderate asshole.
Casualt1234 0
dude classic rock is awesome, Led Zep... oh yeah. Those guys are douchebags. Rap and hiphop suck.
wallythedolly 0
I hate people like that. Hope you reported them.
logicplease 0
FYL indeed. Why am I tempted to scream "I. DRINK. YOUR. MILKSHAKE!"?