Today, I learned to never blast classic rock with your convertible's top down while passing an SUV full of gangbanger wanna-bes. That is, of course, unless you want your immaculate, newly detailed leather seats to be decorated with pretty brown and white milkshake stains. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML
Today, I gave my new boss a ride, since his car died. I probably should have checked the music before I started the car; I'm not sure hearing "Grandpa pissed his pants again…" as the opener to a song made a good impression on him. FML
Today, I was stoked to show my new car to my friends that I pulled into the parking lot a bit too fast, attempting to look cool. I accidentally hit the curb and ended up scratching the entire front bumper on a trash can that I didn't see. Now I have a busted up bumper, and my friends will probably never let me forget it. FML
Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML
Today, I was in my car and stopped at a red light. A homeless woman then started to throw rocks at my car for no apparent reason. I drive a convertible. FML
Today, I got caught singing '80s hair metal love ballads to myself in the car by the object of my affection. FML
Today, I learned that if you're going to light a bottle rocket and throw it out the window of a car, you should roll the window down before you light the bottle rocket. FML
Today, while I was reluctantly driving to work on a Sunday, some guy in a shiny Audi threw a plastic root beer bottle full of urine at my old Toyota. He didn’t even bother to put on the cap on, like a gentleman would. FML
Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML
Today, I was hanging in the street with the boys, listening to some jams on my car's new speaker system. Some asshole from the apartments above me threw a bag of trash at my car. Direct hit. FML
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Top comments
Aelaena 6
Wow assholes. I hate people like that, I hope you got a license yet that probably wouldn't do much.
zmiddz 0
Gangbangers drink milkshakes?
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Comments (243)
Taish 0
You asked for it with "music" like that :P
afwrestler1986 0
See now people get mad at the guy blasting his classic rock but make no mention of the rap and whatever else you have being shot out of a set of 12,13,14,15...... inch sub woofers. with the sickening noise of the car being rattled apart. Oh, and #81.........i think you should culture yourself. South Park Season 11 episode 1. watch it and you may figure out just what #79 is talking about. And you call him a nerd with no life yet your comment goes on far longer than his. Just something to think about.
aztec37 0
It says gangbanger wannabes, not just gangbangers-that might help explain why they could be drinking milkshakes. #22,25. WHat does gangbanger mean outside of America?
shmaller 0
"Yo homie, let's ice this motha fucka!" "Sho thing man, jus lemme finish my Flurry with sprinkles and his ass is grass."
sfsdfsf 0
you sound perfect
UGADawg08 1
Wow, pieces of trash. Shame you didn't have a gun so you could execute every one of them on the spot. Freaking animals.
UnitedArabEmirat 0
On second thought, since those assholes were "gangsta" faggots, I would have blasted "Chaotic Matrix" By "Internal Suffering". Perfect brutal shit to blast at them ***** :D
j1026 0
Gangsta wanna-be's drinking milkshakes. That puts an image in my head lol
123_asdfghjkl 0
What assholes. I would be pissed.
sheissoamaZING 0
I don't see the problem with blasting your music. I constantly hear people's music from other peoples' cars that I don't care for. Doesn't make me want to destroy their property.