Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Today, I was security at a shopping centre and tried to stop a guy from drinking in public. He told me to fuck off and "go play cops and robbers somewhere else", so I tried to escort him to the security office. He picked me up with one hand and threw me in the fountain. My boss let him go with a warning. I hate my job. FML
Today, I went to start my new job, only to find out that the guy who hired me had no permission to do so. I had to fill out another application, and complete another interview and I still might not get the damn job. FML
Today, within 24 hours at my new security job, I accidentally tasered the head of security in the groin, causing him to piss himself. FML
Today, I was excited to start my new job. It was only when I was leaving after a long 8-hour day did I realize all of the personal documents I had I brought in for paperwork had been stolen. I'm now down a passport, social security card, and wallet. Great first day. FML
Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for six hours. FML
Today, my first day on the job, I locked up the office after everyone left and set the alarm. An hour later, my new boss angrily emailed me that I locked him inside the building, setting off the alarm and prompting the entire police department to show up. FML
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Top comments
grogers311 20
Bob & weave
chosha_fml 27
Might be time to invest in some Kevlar.
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Comments (106)
Flaptrap 8
Wonder why there was a job opening there... with all of those... violent shootings?
ImRJ 7
dude, you are screwed
hondajason72280 10
grow a pair. U knew what u signed up for being in security
Thorzix 23
Grow a pair? Really? He's at risk of being ******* killed, 100% warrants being worried. Grow a BRAIN.
Zlader 4
He has a point. I work in an armored truck. I knew what I was signing up for, just like he did. Violent criminals can go wherever you are. There is no "safe" in some fields of work, especially with all these cop killers running around.
zarosian 17
Why don't you show him how to grow a pair and go do his job for him idiot.
hondajason72280 10
I actually do security work and knew what I was signing up for when I did it same as he did
syed121417 22
Why did this get so many thumbs down? Do you guys realize what a security officer's job is?
oreoeater 21
See, this is why you READ the paper work
mainlineloser 9
You mean you're in Chicago PD?
Zebediabolical 45
Welcome to Oakland! (edit when I saw OP was in Cali)
RedPillSucks 33
Are you going to Ferguson, MO as a black guy?
badblaby 8
Are there such things as non violent shootings
Sandsh8rk 36
Well shoot, that sucks.
zombiecrayon173 9
Good luck man. Don't worry you'll be fine. Just don't think about it