Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Today, I was security at a shopping centre and tried to stop a guy from drinking in public. He told me to fuck off and "go play cops and robbers somewhere else", so I tried to escort him to the security office. He picked me up with one hand and threw me in the fountain. My boss let him go with a warning. I hate my job. FML
Today, I went to start my new job, only to find out that the guy who hired me had no permission to do so. I had to fill out another application, and complete another interview and I still might not get the damn job. FML
Today, within 24 hours at my new security job, I accidentally tasered the head of security in the groin, causing him to piss himself. FML
Today, I was excited to start my new job. It was only when I was leaving after a long 8-hour day did I realize all of the personal documents I had I brought in for paperwork had been stolen. I'm now down a passport, social security card, and wallet. Great first day. FML
Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for six hours. FML
Today, my first day on the job, I locked up the office after everyone left and set the alarm. An hour later, my new boss angrily emailed me that I locked him inside the building, setting off the alarm and prompting the entire police department to show up. FML
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Top comments
grogers311 20
Bob & weave
chosha_fml 27
Might be time to invest in some Kevlar.
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Comments (106)
drowningfishy 7
As a California security guard for over 5 years I am LMAO and I do apologize. What you are is what we call a body. You'll fill that post as long as you can stand that post. You'll either quit eventually one day leaving the post to another body or successfully demand a different post. Bodies are just people hired with expectations of quitting soon enough. Few bodies make it to other posts. I knew a chic who had to watch a Walgreens in LA without any shelter to make certain no one tried to set fire to it-again.
merekat95 14
Yikes. Good luck op!
sydstoomuch 19
Is there such a thing as non-violent shootings?
itsSebasz 1
Straight outta Compton
Pascal666 7
You usually find a big demand for rent-a-cops in safe neighborhoods?
Cortier1992 6
I had my first night tonight. It sucked. but the area is really nice. lots of hot college girls.
an3ph 20
Suggest applying for a transfer to location with non-violent shootings.
Hime9908 22
Did you not read the paperwork
EnvyYou 8
Gotta check the cameras, Lock the doors, and save power. You should be alright. Don't forget to check Pirate Cove.
syed121417 22
That sucks OP. Hopefully you have somewhat experience and you won't get hurt? But I must say, you should always research where you're applying before going there. And, I might sound very mean for saying this so forgive me, but as applying for security guard you must know that you would have to take change in certain dangerous situations, right? I definitely see how this would make you nervous, especially since it sounds like you are young. But, this is what security officers have to work with sometimes. If it really recks you, maybe apply somewhere else? FYL, though, OP. I wish you the best of luck