Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Today, I was security at a shopping centre and tried to stop a guy from drinking in public. He told me to fuck off and "go play cops and robbers somewhere else", so I tried to escort him to the security office. He picked me up with one hand and threw me in the fountain. My boss let him go with a warning. I hate my job. FML
Today, I went to start my new job, only to find out that the guy who hired me had no permission to do so. I had to fill out another application, and complete another interview and I still might not get the damn job. FML
Today, within 24 hours at my new security job, I accidentally tasered the head of security in the groin, causing him to piss himself. FML
Today, I was excited to start my new job. It was only when I was leaving after a long 8-hour day did I realize all of the personal documents I had I brought in for paperwork had been stolen. I'm now down a passport, social security card, and wallet. Great first day. FML
Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for six hours. FML
Today, my first day on the job, I locked up the office after everyone left and set the alarm. An hour later, my new boss angrily emailed me that I locked him inside the building, setting off the alarm and prompting the entire police department to show up. FML
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Top comments
grogers311 20
Bob & weave
chosha_fml 27
Might be time to invest in some Kevlar.
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Comments (106)
rob02 19
You'll be fine, take cover and shoot back.
brokenjawskhan 21
Oh fyl, OP you need to get yourself a gun for self-defense!! And train with fire arms when you are off duty. Also consider looking at bullet proof vests after all you're a guard. Don't worry op you'll be fine :)
ceelos97 16
If i was you i would buy a bullet proof vest
Olivia93 20
Just run OP when anything happens, just be sure to run in 'zig-zags' and not a straight line. You'll be fine ?✌️?
ShadowFireZelda 6
Wonder what happened to the old guy?..... kidding. but seriously, be careful and good luck.
venomousddog 19
All you need to do is survive 5 days, just don't let your guard down and Foxy shouldn't catch you, just watch your power usage, that's sort of important. You'll do great, I'm sure of it
pipkinrahl 2
if you dont like it quit. you'll get another job.
dxshaunxb21 3
Better than being at Freddy's Frazbear's pizza
AnalBeads4U 20
I know that feel bro.. Security here too. Same situation.
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
seriously? It didn't occur to you that there's a need for security officers mostly in dangerous places? Like, why else would security officers even exist?