Anonymous
United States
Invasion of the bodysnatchers
Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
emily
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Whodunnit
Today, my cellphone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML
Muhd Hazrie
Flashdance
Today, I was working as a security guard in a office building. It was 5 p.m. and most of the staff had gone home so it was pretty quiet. I did a little ballet dance around my security post. When I turned around, I saw my supervisor taking a video of me. He sent it to my boss. FML
Zxry123
Singapore, Singapore
LET ME IN
Today, I work the night shift as a security officer. I packed my uniform and my stuff into one large bag and left for work. When I arrived, I realized that I'd left something important at home, so guess what it was? My security pass and it was almost 5 minutes before my shift started. FML
chili
No one is safe
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
fucked
San Francisco, United States
Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML
anon
Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML
copshop
United States
Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Clinch
Parp Blarp Mall Carp
Today, I was security at a shopping centre and tried to stop a guy from drinking in public. He told me to fuck off and "go play cops and robbers somewhere else", so I tried to escort him to the security office. He picked me up with one hand and threw me in the fountain. My boss let him go with a warning. I hate my job. FML
Jonoq
Canada
Stress factor 11
Today, in a 2-hour period at work, I had to talk to the cops, clean up shit and clean up vomit, yet none of these events were related. The worst part is, I work as a lifeguard and none of this is in the job description. FML
Top comments
boyguydudemalema 0
because you applied for it ?
Hasmo 0
someone needs to protect the zombies right? your doing your country a service
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Comments (258)
romano07 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
ydi for taking a job as a security guard, you didn't have to be one now did you?
the_ace1337 0
Well better than being unemployed.
romano07 0
although that's true, he chose that job for a reason. it's better to just get through it than bitch about why he's even working there.
oh_McE_yousofine 2
Because the recession is a bitch...
Ryanfmlfiend 0
roman what're you twelve? I doubt you've worked a day in your life or even tried to get a job.
timma90 4
You'd take anything in this climate, the UK and some areas within it are horrid for jobs, if you're a college or graduate student you need at least 3-6 month experience to even apply and get an interview and even then you're competing with about 50 odd people for the job. Most companies are even allowing people to work for them for free, it's silly. I went for a job interview as a I.T technician and web designer and both of the interviewing party questioned my ability to do the work I needed to do, I didn't even know they were going to interview me for the web developer position so I couldn't bring my portfolio and the guy was 15 minutes late. They're just there playing high and mighty wankers. :)
jewban 3
I need a job ;_;
tweetbaby14 18
I don't know maybe you're there to do your job, OP. if you don't like it then quit, duh.
jcortez1594 0
That's the best job EVER. Now you can get paid for just sitting there and you don't actually have to do anything.
bh0p 0
Zombies...that is all
ZTB13 4
Have you ever seen bad boys 2? That morgue had security guards, mainly due to them smuggling drugs and money in the bodies... Next time your bored check them and get back to us..
ZTB13 4
Have you ever seen bad boys 2? That morgue had security guards, mainly due to them smuggling drugs and money in the bodies... Next time your bored check them and get back to us..
OrginalOwen 0
Dooouuuubbbllleeeee pooooossstttttt
awesomewhitekid 0
haven't you seen men in black????
BSalawalatski 0
THIS You have what could become the most important job in all of Human history - if one of the corpses is a zombie, it's your job to stop it before it can infect anyone else. You must stop the zombie apocalypse before it even starts.
nachobiznez 0
omg 67 u didn't write enough hehe
honestdude 0
what does it mean?? lol love that video
boyguydudemalema 0
because you applied for it ?
Lucidium 0
Haven't you seen NCIS? psychos try to get in and sniff the cocaine from the intestines of TR corpses.
allmidnighteyes 11
Hahahaha, I love NCIS. The USA marathons tend to destroy any going-out plans I ever have.
TurboTalon 0
OP has obviously never seen Bad Boys 2!!
you_freak 7
Easy money??
beelo44 0
for pervs that rape dead bodies
ArthursLifeSucks 2
came here to say that. thanks for taking care of my light work ;)
joshsgirlfriendd 0
you're there to protect the dead from psychos that will try to break in and steal body parts for money or other unknown reasons..idiot.
evilhobbitofdoom 4
Reasons people would steal/vandalize bodies: * Cover up a murder * Cover up a manslaughter * Necrophilia * Steal a body for a science cadaver
Chinnithy 0
some people have sex with it
Horde 8
BRAINS..
CitrusGirl 0
Also, they can steal stuff off of dead bodies. Watches, glasses, shoes and so on.
doggone456 0
that wild be necrophillia in some cases..
Serec 0
Necrophilia means a person having sex with a corpse.
Hasmo 0
someone needs to protect the zombies right? your doing your country a service
Minky1996 0
yep no nothin worse than a naggin grannie from the dead
gusgus36 5
in case someone tries to steal a body? or something. I'm guessing that no matter where you are, your job ends up being mostly standing around bored anyway...
El_patron 0
cute pic
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Because when you're not there, people have sex with the corpses. I kid you not, that sort of thing happens in morgues and funeral houses everywhere, ALL THE TIME. It's frightening. Usually it's the employees, actually.
mysticwater 0
dun dun dun! security guard is a convenient cover for necrophilia!
dudeitsdanny 10
^^^ I meant to give you a thumbs up =(
UrTheWorstCharac 0
Sounds like you're talking from experience.
thatgirl503 0
take a good care of the dead owkie?guard them well..they might run off..lmao.. YDI..you shouldn't have taken the job if you're just gonna whine about it:P
Danniiboii22 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
because u a drop out dumb ass
romano07 0
lol. you called him a dropout, but you lack correct sentence structures. xD
taytay6510 6
Ever heard of a capital?...Don't give anyone else advice if you don't even know what your talking about.
TheChad12 2
Same to you bud..... you're*** not your
mitchn60 6
Awesome!! Put him in his place!
romano07 0
19, it would have been capitalized had i not been on from my phone.
Darraghscoot 0
Sure.
marinus_fml 20
iPhone are capable of capitalizing.
ArrowLCMC 0
Yea because it's not like anybody had to take a job they aren't overqualified for in this economy. What do you do for a living sir?
Mr_Zachary 0
Ironic replies are ironic...
AkeemKN 1
says the minority rofl
marinus_fml 20
You could always just hit the shift key though...
taytay6510 6
Yeah okay, I'll admit I spelled "you're" wrong, but really?! This guy is telling another guy he has improper sentence structure when his is merely better.
XxAngel77xX 0
I'm assuming you're a drop out as well, due to your lack of sentence structure.
retrorewind 13
booooooooo
xFMLxHEROx 0
Sounds like easy money!
stewpididiot 11
yeah !! STFU and be glad you HAVE a job !!!