Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Today, I was security at a shopping centre and tried to stop a guy from drinking in public. He told me to fuck off and "go play cops and robbers somewhere else", so I tried to escort him to the security office. He picked me up with one hand and threw me in the fountain. My boss let him go with a warning. I hate my job. FML
Today, I went to start my new job, only to find out that the guy who hired me had no permission to do so. I had to fill out another application, and complete another interview and I still might not get the damn job. FML
Today, within 24 hours at my new security job, I accidentally tasered the head of security in the groin, causing him to piss himself. FML
Today, I was excited to start my new job. It was only when I was leaving after a long 8-hour day did I realize all of the personal documents I had I brought in for paperwork had been stolen. I'm now down a passport, social security card, and wallet. Great first day. FML
Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for six hours. FML
Today, my first day on the job, I locked up the office after everyone left and set the alarm. An hour later, my new boss angrily emailed me that I locked him inside the building, setting off the alarm and prompting the entire police department to show up. FML
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Top comments
grogers311 20
Bob & weave
chosha_fml 27
Might be time to invest in some Kevlar.
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Comments (106)
jjmiller1001 17
remember SWAT drills.... two to center mass, one to the head!
jjcoombs22 5
Could be worse, could be five nights at Freddy's...
JessieFree 1
Oh COME ON
jjcoombs22 5
Haha, you and me have the same idea
JessieFree 1
Just be glad it's not at a kids' pizzeria, and it's not your job to monitor the animatronic characters.
AFaye3964 17
Duck, Dodge, and Hide.
imamaniac 4
only if you hide and dont get shot
cheshireau 26
But I don't understand, wouldn't you expect that being a security officer? Even if you were a bouncer at a club, you'd expect to possible get hit breaking up a brawl.
worldclassrager 41
Invest in a Kevlar vest or better yet a Kevlar body...
Mirorbo 27
At least it's not the night shift at a kids' pizzeria.
simsimbeep 13
Try it out for a few days, it might not be as bad as you think.
tuckmyster99 3
well obviously ur a badass or something cause they wouldn't of sent u there if u werent who knows u mite be a modern day hero some day