Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I caught my best friend's wife being a cheating whore, and I told her either she told him the truth or I would. More fool me, she used the time I gave her to convince him I tried to sleep with her, so now he won’t believe a word I say, and he punched me in the jaw. FML
Today, I witnessed my girlfriend and best "friend" getting intimate. In a dim-witted attempt to cover up, my best friend proclaimed, "This isn't what it looks like!" I might have given him the benefit of the doubt, had he not still been inside my girlfriend at the time. FML
Today, I found out that my husband of 12 years has been sleeping with my best friend of even longer for who knows how long. She actually tried to turn it around on me and implied that it was my fault for finding out about it. FML
Today my best friend called me at 6 a.m., ranting and accusing me of sleeping with her husband. I live two hours away and haven't seen him in person in over six months. FML
Today, I saw my buddy at the mechanic's on speaker with his wife. I did a very fake female voice and said, “He’s here with me! He’s my man now!” He rushed home to see all his stuff on fire on the front lawn. I had no idea how psycho she was and now he wants to kill me. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me with my best friend. He actually had the balls to say her leg was asleep and he was trying to wake it up. FML
Today, I told my friend about a fight I had earlier with my girlfriend. He thought it'd be funny to use my phone while I was in the bathroom and text her "ure such a cunt". She wouldn't believe the truth, even when my friend confessed to her. She thought I paid him to take the fall. FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of two years. I got a call from my best friend telling me he had slept with her before we went out drinking the night before. FML
Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML
Today, I tried a trick my friend taught me; I initiated sex as my husband was getting ready for work, then guilted him when he refused. After he left, I texted my friend that her trick worked wonderfully. Too bad I sent it to my husband instead. FML
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Top comments
beastmode707 1
Should have been a real gun
DocBastard 40
And then you set his ass on fire, right? Right? Very little pisses me off more than infidelity.
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Comments (216)
JaynLyss 0
woulda ran to the house for a real one
MigraineurOfLife 15
This sounds like something I've seen on a show on TV.
KiddNYC1O 22
Laguna Biotch.
Brelywi 15
"Oh...well, uh.... Bang?"
FUCKNAMESBREH 0
What if he was counter trolling? :o
xXSecondGuessXx 0
At least you found out..? I dunno.
toxicpinkcandy 10
I would be beating the crap outta him right now and be thinking of ways to ruin his life rather than sitting there posting it on FML. No wonder she cheated on you. Grow some balls you passive aggresive dumbass. YDI
monique8axel 6
You see that's when you burn his nuts off
trollierthanthou 1
thats when i would have actually used the gun lighter.... And a gallon of gasoline.... And his wife (if i was a guy,of course)...
KOn311 2
Let's all go and correct everyone's spelling and state what they just wrote isn't valid because they can't spell to others expectations. Oh no! It's the end of the world! People need to focus more on what people are saying rather then how it is spelled. Criticize what really matters and spelling doesn't matter in this case, unless you can't comprehend what someone is saying completely.
trollierthanthou 1
okay people, let us just take thy oath to not correct others and not thumb others down for their mistakes. Should go as thus: " I shalt not correct thou mistakes. I shalt not be thy donkey's rump. I shalt not thumbeth thy Fml neighbor downeth for his grammar mistakes. This pledge I shalt keep. If I shall break it, thy thumbeth downeth shalt be welcome."