Today my best friend called me at 6 a.m., ranting and accusing me of sleeping with her husband. I live two hours away and haven't seen him in person in over six months. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my best friend is mad at me for "letting my paranoia ruin her relationship." I've been telling her for months now that I don't trust her boyfriend's female best friend, but she never listened to me. Guess who I caught in bed together a few hours ago while my best friend was at work? FML
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, my best friend promised me that she'd be there after a rough night the night before. Hours later, I did some digging and found out that she went ahead and called another group of friends behind my back, and then told me to stop being a baby when I figured it out. FML
Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML
Today, I was talking to my best friend about how much of an asshole my ex-boyfriend is. After about 2 hours of non-stop bitching, it turns out she's actually dating him. FML
Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three-hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML
Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML
Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML
Today, my wife upset herself by ringing my best friend to see if he would lie about where I was, and he did. Now my wife thinks I get my friends to lie for me to cover up my cheating. I’ve never once cheated. This feels like the next level up from cheating on her in her dreams, because she's crazy. FML
Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
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Top comments
tayjb17 15
If she believes that you would do that, she isn't your best friend.
Pat Burke 3
You may want to re-evaluate what the term "best friend" means.
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Comments (10)
Pat Burke 3
You may want to re-evaluate what the term "best friend" means.
tayjb17 15
If she believes that you would do that, she isn't your best friend.
Kurliez408 32
don't think op's guilty, just pointing out that 'haven't seen him in 6 months' doesn't mean didn't sleep with him 6 months ago ;)
nononsense14 8
But... did you sleep with him?
United Airlines 2
You have nothing to lose by sleeping with him now. Have fun!
Joshua Smith 4
She needs to Do what you did to that Asian guy to her friend.
neptune997 4
She needs to check herself.
sunny_funny 9
Before she wrecks herself
dextroz 8
You must be the kind of person that needs to go on Jerry Springer to settle this.
TabooSushi 24
I'm going through something similar with a friend right now... Sometimes I wonder what gets into people's heads that makes them so insecure that they start accusing people of crimes they couldn't possibly have committed.