Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son came home from school with a catastrophically bad report card. When I asked him for an explanation, he replied, "I'm hesitating between 'family environment' and 'heredity'." FML
Today, my teenage daughter asked me if accents are hereditary. FML
Today, I met my "grandson". Even though my son and his wife are both lily white, the child was clearly half-black. I pulled my son aside to have a word, but he said, "Her grandmother was black and she has recessive genes, it's really rare." I can't believe I raised this dumbass. FML
Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML
Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
Today, my English teacher told me that I failed my grammar test. Her exact words were "You ain't gonna pass this class if you ain't gonna study." FML
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML
Today, I told my 21 year-old son he either has to break up with his girlfriend, who fills his head with lies about me, or I'd stop speaking to him. He laughed and said he'd fine with us not speaking ever again. FML
Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML
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Top comments
panda1o 0
hes gonna go far.
Mipz 2
You've proven yourself dumber than him.
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Comments (120)
RyanMcManus 0
U can't fix stupid
sandyandellie 5
I'm not a grammar Nazi.... but really would It have killed you to make the tiniest bit of sense?
kaylapple 1
well dont you have a smart one on your hands!
a_nutritionist 10
she must take the "men think with the wrong head" a little too literally.
heartgrenade1 5
True, but stupidity is passed down genetically. Something to think about.
chelseaaababyyy 17
this display of stupidity just made my night (:
zekeishNOTafail 1
5-&53 I have no clue what you people have said.....
slymac 2
It's actually not that stupid a question: "An innate ability for language acquisition is the claim that humans are genetically pre-programmed to learn language" (I'm a student of linguistics). At least he is willing to ask and learn.
TheNewGuy03 29
The key word in your sentence is "learn." Just think of the human mind (or any mind, for that matter) as a blank canvas. As time passes, the canvas is placed on an easel, and the brush strokes of experience do the rest for you. Every canvas is different fundamentally, and the etchings experience makes on one's life vary by person, thereby yielding different outcomes.
Goodatbeingbad 9
Obviously 5 and 53 are related.
scaryasfuck666 0
You mean Obama, right?