Today, in one fell swoop, my testicles and spirits were simultaneously crushed into submission by the girl I like. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML
Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML
Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML
Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML
Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't anymore. FML
Today, I got dumped during sex. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
Today, I had to sit for an hour listening to my girlfriend talk to her ex about his testicles. She laughed more during that conversation than she ever has with me. FML
Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
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Top comments
jacetopia96 1
Does not sound sexy.
Captain0bv10us 0
Excuse me for a minute, I have lost all faith in humanity
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Comments (192)
jacetopia96 1
Does not sound sexy.
gideeupp 9
Sounds quite painful. Fyl op :(
enonymous 9
WTF you talking about. I got a chub and my nipples could cut glass after reading this FML.
genesisnirvana 11
It sounds like S&M gone wrong
Kyzahhh 7
Squirrel grip
NastyNinja31 0
That bitch went nuts on u
flockz 20
so u had ball crushing sex then she laughed at how small u were? OR maybe she laughed at how small u were then u guys had ball crushing sex? i dont know either one is hilarious.
bpell15 5
Make her massage them till they feel better.
fanceh 10
bme pain olympics?
echogekko 7
Even my spirits felt that as I read this...
redneck0328 5
ouchtown population: you
FarSide 23
YDI genius for putting your balls in a fell swoop.
IndyJustin 4
lol
Andrew1122 0
*full swoop
IndyJustin 4
hey Melissabritt your pretty cute :)
StopDropNRoll 11
My guess is foul swoop.
Gfrigo 1
I don't think we're getting the full story here.
BiTeMeLuVv 9
Lmaooo Funny Shit .
BPO 0
8-but cups are so uncomfortable sometimes!
r6_fml 4
I think it would be a "fail" swoop
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
I find this hard to ********** to.
CarsAndMoney 5
Lol what did you do to her to make her crush your ballz :D
ScaughtieHolden 11
No where in this fml does it say she said he has a tiny dick.
jglenn88 0
damn your hot
tandem123 6
I trust OP to know what they're talking about. They probably meant "fell"
konot9 1
You should definitely crush her smelly ****** for that.
shadankium 1
#8 your a girl........
Calivale 7
Ouch! that sucks. I'm sorry.. some Ice and ice cream might help!
commietaco 0
on his balls or to eat?
Synapse_fml 0
ROFL!
ThEKID96 4
Too eat off his balls...
zaku2capt 1
ouch that sounds like it really hurts wish I know the whole story
NeatNit 33
Yeah, OP might deserve it
sexyshit44 0
So it was good sex?
reallytho3 11
It depends, some dudes have tht ball crushing fetish or wutever
mynameis1339 0
Who doesn't love getting their balls crushed?
Babalu722 3
i know right? screw bjs.
CryMoreFMLs 15
I start with a rubber band, an icepack and a knife.
HailSatan66 5
I lik gud sexin Whoooo dudnt lololololrolfffff ....hahaha FML rulzzzzzz u r a l l noobzzzzz....
fluffyrocka 0
103- my mom is a nurse, i will get you help
fauxyhaha 0
103- What are you saying ?!
a_nutritionist 10
@114 hes too far gone, theres nothing they can do to save him. the only humane thing is to take him out back and put him down. ill get the hammer...
doglover339 4
Dude learn how to spell no one freakin understands what ur saying!!
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
103 - MAY THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPEL YOU!!!
zekeishNOTafail 1
-103 U have a serious problem with the word noob ......
boatingboy1011 0
94 u knew that way to well. How often do u do that?
The_Weirdo 10
He has a noob and demon fetish.
Drummerboy1234 0
71 there's this thing called a crushing video. (it was on a thousand ways to die) where a dude gets giant as fat chicks and has them smash into him while he's laying down on a bed. they video tape it then watch it when they are done. it's supposed to be like the worlds best **** for people who love that kinda thing.
radioedit 7
OUCH!!!!!!!!
McLovin1095 5
Don't worry, there will always be others, girls that is, sorry about your testicles
dickydickman 0
the other girls may also crush his testicles...
koolman222 0
:o
thepandawh0re 2
I it a diglet or a surprised face?
dyble95 0
I can't form an opinion with such little detail. If you were groping here then you need to be reminded that not all woman like it and keep track.
dyble95 0
No one gets my fml reference? -_-
zekeishNOTafail 1
Groping contest anyone?????
madskittlesftw 5
... wut?
ProudTexan117 0
Am I the only one who feels there is not enough info on this fml?
jeanaj 0
I was thinkin the same thing..