Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son came home from school with a catastrophically bad report card. When I asked him for an explanation, he replied, "I'm hesitating between 'family environment' and 'heredity'." FML
Today, my teenage daughter asked me if accents are hereditary. FML
Today, I met my "grandson". Even though my son and his wife are both lily white, the child was clearly half-black. I pulled my son aside to have a word, but he said, "Her grandmother was black and she has recessive genes, it's really rare." I can't believe I raised this dumbass. FML
Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML
Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
Today, my English teacher told me that I failed my grammar test. Her exact words were "You ain't gonna pass this class if you ain't gonna study." FML
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML
Today, I told my 21 year-old son he either has to break up with his girlfriend, who fills his head with lies about me, or I'd stop speaking to him. He laughed and said he'd fine with us not speaking ever again. FML
Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML
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Top comments
panda1o 0
hes gonna go far.
Mipz 2
You've proven yourself dumber than him.
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Comments (120)
iEatGuppies 0
since when are heads on our legs? do you mean ****, cause I have no idea wtf a cant is. "you are so dumb! you are really dumb, forreal!" -Antoine Dodson
Babalu722 3
maybe he meant the OTHER head "wink wink".. even then hes dumb
manbearpig7173 0
Hopefully being a hopeless dumb **** wasn't passed down genetically...
Pixxio_O 11
F his life...
apegirl907 0
I think it's a creative and legit question.
je_suis_fml 11
Why are all her posts incomprehensible with a dire need of a translator?
HailSatan66 5
5-Pinch he's he'd off his legs hahaharolf.......ththths hilrous... rolfflolololhaha yu da mannnn...I luv qu....
Camilleee_fml 7
Haha! Hmm, wonder where he goes to school. (:
Justforlolz 14
I've read this guys last three comments... I weep for mankind.
fauxyhaha 0
Last time I checked, heads weren't on legs, "cant"